i need resuscitation. i need 2 b revived. 

i'm not a quitter n these r the most unlikely situations i d think i ll quit. 

i didnt quit. but there r pp saying i should. dat once i'm out You'll lead n guide. 

You noe my convictions abt it. yet...

hm.

Lord say something. let me hear u.

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i never thot i'd say "you suck". n i did. n worse, i meant it. every childish bit of it. i m so very disappointed with you. 

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wat i learnt during CNY:

i m so full of pride, i m pathetic. 

i ve got a model on how to love n honour my mother. my aunty's a shining eg. 

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my hp's kinda gone. ka-ponk. waiting for sat for a good deal on non-nokia, non-sony ericsson. 

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uyiwch eimc eipr cjepr hguieh xheuiehuicrheuirzhweuizuaeichfuihuihcwif grui i m incoherent. 

Prayer is not a substitute for hard work — prayer is the work! God does things in and through our lives by prayer that He does in no other way. As we pray, and as our attention is turned toward God, we become more receptive to aligning our lives with His will.
God will not equip us with His power while we are racing off to our next appointment! His Spirit will not empower us if we are oblivious to what He is saying. He requires our complete attention before He will fill us with the powerful presence of His Spirit.

from Experiencing God Day by Day, 
a devotional by Henry and Richard Blackaby
2nd October entry

"in prayer it is better to have heart without words than words without heart." - John Bunyan

to pray is to listen to the One who calls you "my beloved daughter," "my beloved son," "my beloved child." to pray is to let that voice speak to the center of your being, to your guts, and let that voice resound in your whole being. - Henri Nouwen

to get nations back on their feet, we must first get down on our knees - Billy Graham

i declare a week of personal fast n prayer. 

"the whole course of the life is upset by the failure to put God where He belongs." - A.W Tozer

it's not that i juz opened my eyes. it's that now it's time for me to open my mouth. 

it's time 4 action. 2 rise up. no more sleeping. no more lazing. time is short. labour while it is day. 

The real need for depth is not mainly in terms of higher complexity of truth. The real need for most people is greater depth of penetration of the simple truths into hearts and lives.

so when u find yourselves stuck at some "simple ideas" or "familiar passages of the Bible", get off of the theoretical and down to the practical. So ask, "Why don’t we always apply this simple truth?" In other words, "What are the elements of our circumstances, priorities, etc. that keep us from obeying what God so clearly teaches us."

I have been having near-perfect days! i ve been basically going thru days AMAZED by the goodness of God!
say wednesday, i got to meet 6 med students n dentist n got to catch up and hear from them. it is a rather mean feat considering how every1's timing juz fit incredible like pieces of puzzle falling into place in my schedule. n not to mention their willingness to meet!
i was already blessed by the interaction with them. then... stepping into the MRT, i met Evelyn whom i havent met in a long time! and she asked me abt PEPSI n within the travelling to 1 stop, i managed to answer her question n meet her need that helped her cell group's planning. n for me, i was encouraged that she is actively involved in her cell group. and finding her on FB, she is growing n committing herself to the Word more this year. greater encouragement.

then thurs, having a good meeting with my med staff team and then being able to lunch with JL at TTSH. meeting drs n students in middle of sch is almost like ti-kum-ing. they dun know their schedule, when they can have lunch (many times they cant!) n even if we can lunch more than 10min tog! had a good interaction with Jon n prayed. i was so encouraged by his ministering to me! n i was supposed 2 b the staff! then down to Lily's. had a good time with lincoln then also praying. again, it felt like my schedule was God-arranged. so very swee2 swee4

today, went for my last CSM. i m already overjoyed at the prospect that i m no longer in campus. n they were so sweet. wanted 2 do a closure n "send off". n did it as a appreciation to me n ZZ. n of course got a little borders card. got sharon to appreciate me n of course she praised me 2 the skies. i got to say my "last words" and appreciate the leadership n my ex-team. then had a surprise appreciation fr D as he abruptly requested to say sometihng. at first i didnt noe how 2 react. then i relaxed n received his words. a definite leap on his part n for me, answered prayers for restoration n healing. i felt God juz gave me a fabulous closure. something extra but so very good! the sharing n prayer was refreshing. had a gr8 lunch with ZZ n jan choo. then coming back 2 the office, helped calyn. n while helping, gail found me and i could help her get her job done n she kept saying "seeing you makes me so happy". like more than 10 times! n despite it being such a small thing n we not meaning anything more than colleges to each other, this exclamation made me so very happy too! then travelling down to city hall with SW. met evelyn again! we got more chance to chat n she shared with me her life. n so uplifted by my interactions with every1 today.it's like some impossibly perfect day where every1 u meet tells u how great u r, that they love u, or open their hearts n share with u. n the praying tog adds the icing to the cake. it's been such a sweet sweet day. or days. thank You Lord!

it's like God using all of us to resource, encourage and spur one another along. that i can give n help others n others can b brought into my path by God to refresh me. it's like mini perfect demo of the body of Christ living n helping one another. i really feel v loved n favoured.

back to sch! muahaha.

i m confused regarding the structure of my min. where m i? still under NUS? sigh.

my back'll break if i cont carrying such heavy load! next comp i'll buy will be the ASUS EeePC! cos it's light! carrying my laptop to n fro, plus bible, umbrella etc is so not good! 

next hp - a clamshell motorola. yes i miss my clamshell. after so many diff models- slide, candy bar, clamshell... i still like the clamshell. 

hmm... much as i like n embrace change, i still m a creature of habit, going back to my "vomit"! haha. same long wallet (cos i like the features even tho i was trying to get a diff one), same kind, n i think model of phone (cos it's got my heart! haha)

WHY ONE SHOULD NOT WATCH HORROR SHOWS like ghost whisperer etc:

even tho it brings to an awareness of the supernatural, that there is a reality beyond what we can see, and that we are not all in control of our lives, situations etc. 

- it erases God from the picture. a sovereign God is absent. these shows are essentially atheistic in nature. anything that removes God from the picture is diabolically opposed to God and the knowledge of Him. 

- it exaggerates n focuses us on the power of the "evil" supernatural world. and gives authority (which the supernatural forces DONT) to wreak havoc. 

if you are trying to grow in your sensitivity and awareness of God's presence n His ways through understanding the Word, and learning to apply it in your daily life, this totally sets you back.

erm, doesnt knowing these keeps us safe n makes it ok to watch it? 

well, u know about slow cooking the frog eh?

i m not a "puritan", nor m i a killjoy. but... seriously, there are better things to do to relax or  to entertain you. u can make a better choice. n there are better choices. 

God is a God of pleasures. in His right hand are pleasures evermore. ps 16:11. 

every good thing comes from Him. Ps 16:2, Js 1:17

there's no good thing APART from Him. so anything that does not exalt the knowledge of God, anything that opposes the knowledge of God, this we need to cast away.  

go to Him for a really good thing- a pleasure n joy that does not leave a bad hang-over in the morning, does not haunt u in the stillness of night, doesnt leave you scrambling to cover up. 

no, it's not a chick novel stained with sexual overtones. no it's not a video download that gets adrenaline n endorphins into your system. 

some1 asked me this question. n i thot i'd post it for you to help me too:

what is one thing i can learn or do to love people better?

dun tag board ur answer... email, sms, facebook msg me.

is it possible to have a dilemma that i m not yet in?

we really have the choice. it's not as if there arent any in any given situation. 

God really doesnt mess with our freewill.

wat wud i chose? 

it's interesting how this year has unfolded. 2009 promises 2b a blockbuster! =)