from Glo: bye, you will remain one of best friend forever (bff) (FB chat tonight)

"restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands." - Elisabeth Elliot

i m mostly a simple person- a nice meal makes me happy, being able to eat and sleep n poop makes me happy. had a v happy evening on tues. a nice simple ramen meal got me beaming. i m love ramen! i finally ate good authentic ramen! and yes i m a fan. goodbye to lousy "instant noodles-like ramen"!

full top 10 in the list on www.forbes.com/women:

1: Angela Merkel, chancellor. Germany

2: Sheila Bair, chairman, Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. US.

3: Indra Nooyi, chief executive, PepsiCo. US.

4: Cynthia Carroll, chief executive, Anglo American. UK.

5: Ho Ching, chief executive, Temasek Holdings. Singapore

6: Irene Rosenfeld, chief executive, Kraft Foods. US.

7: Ellen Kullman, chief executive, DuPont. US.

8: Angela Braly, chief executive, WellPoint. US.

9: Anne Lauvergeon, chief executive, Areva. France

10: Lynn Elsenhans, chief executive, Sunoco. US.

if you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it - Anthony J. D'Angelo

--

today i finallly took my counseling file and emptied it. really... at the end of the day, anything that does not begin and point others to God is not worth investing time n energy in.

i m sitting in swensens' trying to prep my thursday's message.

was kind stressed out over the weekend cos there's so many pp 2 meet, so much to do... but mostly cos leading worship, and speaking. i cant believe that despite having done these things like SO MANY times.
i had to be reminded by God on how He has come thru for me every single time. even the last time in L where i juz came back from:

it was an amazing trip! the Christians there have what i would call a "fierce faith." imagine classmates who are extremists whose life purpose is to manufacture bombs and be a martyr. imagine being infused by God's passion to want to reach out to them.

i went there as S's answered prayer and helped her know that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly far more than she can ask or imagine. n i was amazed at how God answered my prayer to be a blessing to them.

God had to remind me that He has been faithful and has used me and will continue to use me.
--

sat andrew n grace's wedding.
andrew actually thanked CCC on stage. i was amazed. and touched that he acknowledged us in his Christian growth.
was so happy for him. and meeting up wif v and JW and seeing them happy again especially at a wedding was good for me. i couldnt bring myself to contact and even minister to V after D's passing. had a gr time catching up wif CA. and even caught up with a messianic Christian. raise eyebrow. but i could appreciate him better this time. PTL.

leaving tonight for Lebanon. feeling v sleepy. my flight's at 3am! sigh... i dun want to sleep now n then later cant sleep on the plane. 

 

"He has great tranquility of heart who cares neither for the praises nor the fault-finding of men. He will easily be content and pacified, whose conscience is pure. You are not holier if you are praised, nor the more worthless if you are found fault with. What you are, that you are; neither by word can you be made greater than what you are in the sight of God." - Thomas a Kempis

met ZL today. v interesting. i'm beginning 2 c how Hilter and NK's regime can con't so brilliantly. some men die to lead, others die to follow. *in Jerry's tone* to each his own.

i noe my posts have been rather disappointing these months. sorry. will do better once i leave my job. LOL. 

thanks YW for smsing n calling to ask abt my "worthlessness" bout. 

i think it is merely growing pains coupled with lots of stressors. no worries abt depression. cos if anything it's too exciting for me right now. 

"Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. peace does not dwell in outwards things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on HIm who has all things safely in His hands." - Elisabeth Elliot.

now i m alone in my office. trying 2 prepare for my talks etc for my work trip this coming week, n awaiting tonight's nursing grads min meeting. a good 3 hours to myself 2 get some work done. praying for effectivenes n peace. =)

i have been very stressed out lately. it's becoming apparent there's quite a bit to be done b4 i fly off to the US.

o yes, i'm leaving on a jet plane... to study. 

i'm trading my work for a christian brand of "hogswart sch of magic". sigh... u noe i dunno harry potter wen i dunno how to spell his sch! hee hee.

anyway, pray for me as i go to the Middle east for a work trip. it's the main cause of this stress. up until now i have yet to be able to prepare for it! ARGH! N I'll leaving on sun night! 

also been hit by a huge spell of worthlessness. yes, i, too get those terrible spells. and it's during such stressed out  and worthless state makes focusing on the things at hand- not just the physical to-do lists but the spiritual battle that is going on - difficult. makes me focus on self( what's going on inside) way too much. 

hmmm... blogging this reminds me once again why i got into blogging in the 1st place: catharsis. n there's more clarity in doing so. i have not been blogging n in such states, journaling is so much harder.. typing is faster n hence it's easier to keep up with my messy thoughts. "easier". not totally able to. 

so, this time, this typing out helped show me the very blaring n vital thing i need 2 do tmr. inbetween my appts, instead of focusing on the many things to do.... i shall do that ONE thing that is needed. n to aid me doing this one thing, i shall not bring out my laptop. 

makes it all the more convenient cos i m doing camp rece tmr evening. lugging my laptop sure isnt a good idea. 

n u must be thinking isnt it simple? yeah... but it wasnt so clear until just now! i had thot i needed my laptop for the many things to get done. but i m convinced i shant. sigh.... i really need to blog more.... blabber on more so that there's less clutter in my head. 

there u go... thank u.

u have been such a great psychotherapist. =)

i'm going to sleep now. 

cheers! 

from a friend who forwards LOTS of stuff to me... i was actually blown away by this. praise the Lord! 

check out the youtube interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmTiqcIbXrw

website link:
http://www.venusmagazine.org/cover_story.html

A Lesbian's Deliverance
By Charlene Israel


CBN News June 23, 2007

After 29 years as a gay activist, former lesbian magazine publisher Charlene Cothran stunned the
homosexual community when she announced she had become a Christian. She has renounced her
homosexuality, and changed the format of her magazine to spread the Gospel to the gay community.
As a gay rights activist, Cothran was never afraid to fight for what she believed in. For 30 years, she
was as vocal and in your face as they come. She organized and marched with other lesbians in gay
rights parades. And as editor-in-chief of "Venus" magazine, a national gay and lesbian publication,
she wasn't about to change -- until something happened at a gay pride celebration that she never
expected.

"In 2003, I was in Chicago at a gay pride event, in the middle of this beautiful park," Cothran recalled.
"I took a panoramic view, and as far as I could see there were men with men and women with women,
all just partying and having a good time. But a shame fell on me, I felt so out of place. I knew
something in my spirit spoke that, 'this is that road that leads to destruction, and you're on it.'"

It took several years to come to terms with this vision, and during that time Cothran continued to
publish her gay and lesbian magazine. But she couldn't escape the message she'd heard that day in
2003. She said, "I kept myself busy with marches and activism and public appearances. But in the still
of the night when everything is over, there was still that little voice, "You're not right with God."

Cothran says she longed for peace, but even in the midst of a long-term relationship, she felt intense
loneliness. She'd grown up in a Christian home, and had come into the lesbian lifestyle at 19, after
several bad relationships with boys. "I didn't want anything to do with men anymore," she said. "I was
away at college and that was a whole new world, and in that world there were many, many women
who were attracted to me, and, of course, I was attracted to them. And these women were nurturing,
wanted to get to know me intellectually -- they were organizers whom I found a lot of comfort in. It felt
good, it felt right."

But it didn't feel right anymore. Then in June 2006, local Pastor Vanessia Livingston of Miracle
Deliverance Church called Cothran, regarding an article in one her publications. She didn't know
anything about Cothran's life and proceeded to talk to her about God. Livingston asked Cothran,
"What are you going to do about your life?" Then she told her, "'You need to get your life together.'
Cothran said, 'I'm in the life.' I said, 'Yes, I know, that's why I'm talking to you, but you don't have to
stay in the life. You can be delivered today, right now, right where you are.'"

They talked for awhile and Cothran remembers her words: "I can tell that you want to come back to
God, but you feel unworthy, you feel that God can't use you because you've been marching and
publishing and you've been such a proud lesbian all these years, but that's not true. He's waiting."

That day changed everything for Charlene Cothran, as she finally asked Jesus Christ to come into
her heart and forgive her. It was a personal transformation that she immediately wanted to share
with her gay and lesbian followers. She wrote a front page article in her magazine called, "Redeemed!
Ten Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, if You Want Out.

http://www.venusmagazine.org/cover_story.html
*Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out by Charlene E. Cothran, Venus Magazine Publisher *

"When the Lord saved me, I knew everything would change," she said. "All of the ads, the editorials,
the mission of the magazine had changed. We're going to be calling people out of homosexuality."
Most of the response from the gay and lesbian community has been fierce and negative. But she
says she knows that many of them are just as conflicted as she was.

Cothran said, "In order to fill up this empty space, they pretend to put on this wonderful face,
'how gay and happy I am,' when in fact -- there's a lot of loneliness in the gay community that's not
talked about, and it's real." But there has been positive feedback as well. Cothran says she gets lots
of e-mails from people who say they struggle with homosexuality and want out.

CBN News asked Cothran, "I know people probably ask you, do you still have feelings for women,
and are you dating a man?" Cothran replied, "I'm living a celibate life. I'm so focused on the
spirit right now, that I have no urges for anyone -- man or woman."

With a new outlook about herself and life, Cothran is still on the frontlines of the gay rights battle,
only now she sees it as a spiritual fight to lead others to the freedom she's found. "Our mission now,"
she said, "is to educate and to turn people away from the homosexual lifestyle simply by presenting
the truth. We simply want people to question what they've learned through the pages of Venus
magazine over the past 13 years."

Prior to Cothran's conversion, Venus circulated about 35,000 copies per issue which ran four times
a year. But after the issue featuring her testimony, the gay political machine pressured advertisers
to drop the magazine. And gay pride events and college campuses no longer subscribe. But in her
own words, Cothran has no regrets about her change.

She said, "There is a joy and a peace that you can't find in a club, I don't care how good the music is.
You can't find it in the middle of a gay pride parade, I don't care if you have the biggest, prettiest float.
I have a joy and a peace that I wouldn't trade for anything."

Over the past 29 years of my life I have been an aggressive, creative and strategic supporter of gay
and lesbian issues. I've organized and participated in countless marches and various lobbying efforts
in the fight for equal treatment of gay men and lesbians. I have kept current on the issues and made
financial contributions to those organizations doing work about which I was most passionate. As the
publisher of a 13 year old periodical which targets Black gays and lesbians, I have had the opportunity
to publicly address thousands, influencing closeted people to 'come out' and stand up for themselves,
which is particularly difficult in the African-American community.

But now, I must come out of the closet again. I have recently experienced the power of change that
came over me once I completely surrendered to the teachings of Jesus Christ. As a believer of the
word of God, I fully accept and have always known that same-sex relationships are not what God
intended for us. I don't expect that this message will be widely received, quite the contrary. But, I do
know that there is someone, possibly reading this very article, who is tired and unhappy living this way.
Someone, in your heart of hearts, is searching for a way out, but you just can't seem to break free on
your own. I am speaking to my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters who want real peace; the kind
you've heard about, sung about, read about. It is simpler than you think to acquire it and there is no
condemnation once you've entered it.

Although I have lived as a lesbian for my entire adult life, it is without a doubt my soul's purpose to
use my gifts to LOVINGLY share the truth about how we got here: how we came to be gay or lesbian,
how we came to enjoy our 'lifestyle' and how we came to believe that this was OK with God.
[Romans 1:21-28]

Many argue that each individual should determine for themselves what God intends for him or her.
This would indicate that we each have a separate set of biblical rules to live by. This is untrue. If you
are ready for change and willing to open yourself to the truth, God's love can bring your current
belief system in line with His Word. Jesus will cleanse and forgive all confessed sin from a willing heart.
Homosexuality is only one of them. It is no greater sin than any of the others, but it is sin.

By now you're asking, 'Has she lost her mind? My answer is NO. I didn't lose it, I gave it away!
In fact, I traded it in for a new one! [Romans 12:1-2]


*ONE TUESDAY MORNING*

I was minding my own business one fine New Jersey morning when I received a call from a local
pastor, the Rev. Vanessia M. Livingston. I had never spoken to her previously. She was calling to
add a statement to an article about her gospel group in another paper we own called the "Kitchen
Table News".

I don't remember how we got on the subject of salvation but she could not have known how much
I had been struggling with trying to reckon my spiritual upbringing with my lesbian lifestyle. My
stiff-necked resistance to the truth arose in me as she ministered. I honestly figured that if I simply
mentioned the 'L' word that she'd drop the phone, anoint it with oil and that would be the last I'd hear
from her. But that's not what happened. The pastor prophetically confirmed what I've known for years,
'one day you will come out of the world and bring many gay and lesbian souls out with you.' She
asked if today was the day that I would choose but I said no. I felt the power of conviction upon me
as she spoke but I resisted and hardened my heart against the truth as I had done many times before.
I was not willing to hear her or give up my all to God, especially knowing that I had a confirmed
speaking engagement scheduled the following week at the Schomberg Center during New York City
Gay Pride.


*HAVE MERCY*

As I blurted out that I was a proud card-carrying lesbian, the pastor reminded me that God's mercy
allowed me to survive my experiences as He developed my gifts, all as a part of His plan to lead
others to Him, others who will not perhaps hear her or other ministers who have not LIVED this
experience.

She could not have had a clue about my encounters with the mercies of God. Mercy had indeed
covered me during those dark 1993 days when my good friend Venus Landin, for whom this
magazine is named, was shot and killed. I recalled how I went with her to her ex-lover's home to
recover her things, how the woman had built a fire using Venus' precious journals as fuel, how she
burned her clothes and how the flames and debris had fallen out of the fireplace's box and were
ablaze along the carpet.

I remembered the look on the woman's face and in her eyes. I know in my heart that she had
intended to murder Venus that night but she did not expect me to arrive with her. There, I stood at
the very gates of hell. Given her state of mind, there was no reason for the woman not to have killed
us both, then turn the gun on herself as she did Venus a week later. When I received the call that
they were both found dead, I knew instantly that mercy had covered me, but why?


*I YIELD*

The spirit of God spoke directly into my soul and said you will choose this day who you will serve and
if you make the wrong choice, I will allow you to drift so far away from me that you will never hear my
voice again.

I gave God my heart and soul in the parking lot of the mall, right there in my car. A river of tears
flowed as Jesus washed me and forgave me and redeemed me for His work. I intend be just as 'out'
about my transformation as I was about my lesbian life. I have given every gift I have back to God,
including VENUS Magazine. The target audience will remain the same but the mission has been
renewed. Our new mission is to encourage, educate and assist those in the life who want change
but can't find a way out. My brother, my sister, please follow me out of this.

1. Establish and accept for yourself that God's Word is true AS-IS.
Do not allow gay theology to divorce the Old testament from the New or the written words of the
Apostles from the spoken words of Jesus Christ. This is a good trick, but its no longer working
because God is preparing to bring millions of gays and lesbians back to His feet. He has already
chosen many of us for this specific purpose and He is waiting for YOU to accept His call.


2. Seek the truth within the Scriptures about homosexuality and it will be revealed to you
as you read and pray.
Know that we were NOT born this way. This myth was fashioned by the gay establishment as a
basis for changing laws in favor of gay rights. Again it works for their purposes, but it is biblically
UNTRUE. There is no way that anyone, without an agenda, can come away from the bible with an
endorsement by God of the gay lifestyle. Gay theology starts with an agenda ['Let's make the bible
say gay is O.K.'] in order to arrive at its conclusions, but it is a lie.


3. Do not resist God's call on your life.
Get alone with God and let Him minister the truth directly to you. That conviction you feel is a gift
to keep you near the cross. If you keep resisting Him and hardening your heart, He will eventually
stop calling you. You can then have a great time fulfilling all the fantasies of the flesh without
feeling a thing, but what awaits you at the end of such a life? [Romans 2:28]


4. Know with certainty that you are loved by God exactly where you are and that your
experiences are of great value for kingdom work.
I had BEEN tired, but the enemy kept my mind trapped for years by convincing me that I could not
be of any real use to God having lived as an openly gay publisher, but that was a lie.


5. Say Yes.
That's really all it takes to accept the truth which is accepting Jesus Christ. Pray this prayer of
repentance with me now.

"Lord, I'm coming to you because I believe your Word and I need your help. I can't change myself,
I've tried. Please forgive me for every thing I've done that did not glorify you. I believe that you ARE
the Word, I believe that Jesus IS your son, I believe that He DIED for my sins, and BECAUSE I believe
this, I AM NOW SAVED BY YOUR GRACE. Thank you for saving me! Amen."


6. Make your salvation real.
Keeping the good news of your personal salvation a secret is another trick the enemy uses to buy
time as he tries to pull you back to your former life. We must believe with our hearts AND confess with
our mouths. You don't need to 'out' yourself but clobber the enemy by immediately sharing your
testimony with SOMEONE about how the Lord has revealed the truth directly to you; about the level
of joy and peace you now have which you could not reach without full repentance; about the
welcomed change this brings in your life, and all the wonderful things He has done for you.
[Romans 10:9]


7. Experience paradise NOW!
Consult God first, then go ahead and live your life! Welcome new friendships, start that new venture,
expand your experiences, obtain nice things, just don't put them before God. Enjoy your life to a new
degree, without the burden of sin AND with the confidence of ALL of God's promises on your side!
It is totally possible to live for God in this present age and enjoy yourself immensely. When I say live
for God I mean totally 'sold out' for God. But you cannot be 'sold out' for God and live a gay/lesbian
lifestyle at the same time. [Titus 2:11-12]

It's possible to have a BETTER time than you did in the clubs, in the parks, BETTER than all those
secret encounters with folks whose names you've long forgotten, BETTER than your long-term
relationship, BETTER than all your priceless possessions, BETTER than money! Most of us have
experienced some of this AND WE WERE STILL MISERABLE. But thanks to God's mercy and saving
grace we don't have to wait years and years to get to heaven to experience paradise. The earth is
the Lord's, the fullness thereof, the world, and they that dwell therein. Enjoy God's earth, now.
[Psalm 24:1]


8. Walk Carefully or 'circumspectly' as the Scriptures describe.
This is about being careful to keep your spirit clean and fresh. Prayer, along with reading and hearing
the Word AND seeking ways to apply it to your daily life is the way to STAY saved and delivered from
any sinful habit.

Isn't it interesting that we sometimes give our garments of clothing more care than we give our very
souls. When we put on an outfit, we're so careful not to lean against anything that might soil it.
We protect it while we're eating so as not to get a spot on it. We sit in such a way to prevent it from
wrinkling. Treat your soul's salvation with at least this much care. [Ephesians 5:15-16]


9. Have fellowship with believers.
We know that the church has largely failed gays and lesbians by not being a welcoming place for
those who have sought spiritual change. The invitation to 'come as you are' seems to be extended to
everyone but us. However God has people everywhere who are open, real and willing to walk out with
you. Ask the Lord to lead you to a loving, caring, bible-believing fellowship where you can be nurtured,
be blessed, grow AND be a blessing. [Hebrews 10:25]


10. Stay in touch.
We'd love to hear from you! If this article has helped you, please let us know. Also, if you'd like to
share YOUR testimony with VENUS readers, email us at editor@venusmagazine.org

a very significant day in my life. i ve been waiting for today for the whole month! but when today rolled by, i was anxious and excited, ruffled and restless.
was tempted to think i was making a mistake.

this is the turn of the chapter. no turning back.
deep calls out to the deep.
i know deep inside it is right.

i am saddened by Michael Jackson's death. what a life. so many people "love" him, have him "with them as they grow up", "day and night" but he has.....??

here's "heal the world"

little girl talking

((i think about the gererations
and thay say thay want to make it 
a better place for our children & our children's children
so that thay thay thay know it's a better world for them 
and i think thay can make it a better place))


There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need 
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are 

Ways To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
heal the world we live in
You And For Me
save it for our children

Obama wants men to be better fathers than his own

By CALVIN WOODWARD, Associated Press Writer – 2 hrs 28 mins ago

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama got a basketball, his first name and ambition from his father. Little else.

The son gave back more than he received: a lifetime of ruminations about the man who abandoned the family, a memoir named "Dreams from My Father," and endless reflections on his own successes and shortcomings as a parent of Sasha, 8, and Malia, 10.

As a candidate and now president, he's been telling men what sort of father they should be. It's become his Father's Day ritual and he's not shy about it.

He's asking American men to be better fathers than his own.

The president showcased fatherhood in a series of events and a magazine article in advance of Father's Day. He said he came to understand the importance of fatherhood from its absence in his childhood homes — just as an estimated 24 million Americans today are growing up without a dad.

Fathers run deep in the political culture as they do everywhere else, for better and worse. Michelle Obama has said many times how her late dad, Fraser, is her reference point and rock — she checks in with him, in her mind, routinely, and at important moments.

Obama's presidential rival, John McCain, called his own memoirs "Faith of My Fathers," tracing generations of high-achieving scamps. The father-son presidencies of the George Bushes were bookends onBill Clinton, whose father drowned in a ditch before he was born and whose stepfather was an abusive alcoholic nicknamed Dude.

A Kenyan goatherder-turned-intellectual who clawed his way to scholarships and Harvard, Barack Hussein Obama Sr. left a family behind to get his schooling in the United States. He started another family here, then left his second wife and 2-year-old Barack Jr. to return to Africa with another woman.

His promise flamed out in Africa after stints working for an oil company and the government; he fell into drink and died in a car crash when his son was 21, a student at Columbia University.

"I don't want to be the kind of father I had," the president is quoted as telling a friend in a new book about him.

His half-sister, Maya, called his memoirs "part of the process of excavating his father."

Obama now cajoles men to be better fathers — not the kind who must be unearthed in the soul.

His finger-wagging is most pointed when addressing other black men, reflecting years of worry about the fabric of black families and single mothers, but it applies to everyone.

Father's Day 2007: "Let's admit to ourselves that there are a lot of men out there that need to stop acting like boys; who need to realize that responsibility does not end at conception; who need to know that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise a child."

Father's Day 2008: "Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father."

Father's Day 2009: "We need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what's going on in their lives."

He doesn't hold himself out as the ideal dad. No driven politician can.

"I know I have been an imperfect father," he writes in Sunday's Parade magazine. "I know I have made mistakes. I have lost count of all the times, over the years, when the demands of work have taken me from the duties of fatherhood."

He volunteered for those demands, as all people do when they want power. His years as a community organizer, Illinois lawmaker, U.S. senator and presidential candidate often kept him apart from family.

At the same time, he went to great lengths in the 2008 campaign to find time with his girls and wife, and now considers the routine family time one of the joys of living and working in the White House.

The new book "Renegade" by Richard Wolffe recounts strains in the marriage early this decade, arising from his absences and from what Michelle Obama apparently considered his selfish careerism at the time. The author interviewed the Obamas, friends and associates.

Obama himself attributed his "fierce ambitions" to his dad while crediting his mother — a loving but frequently absent figure — with giving him the means to pursue them.

"Someone once said that every man is trying to either live up to his father's expectations or make up for his father's mistakes," he once wrote, "and I suppose that may explain my particular malady as well as anything else." By malady, he meant the will to achieve.

Obama was a schoolboy in Hawaii when his father came back to visit. He gave his dad a tie. His father gave him a basketball and African figurines and came to his class to speak about Kenya. He was an impressive, mysterious figure whom Obama found compelling, volatile and vaguely threatening.

The visit took a sour turn when Obama went to watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and his father made him shut off the TV, saying he watched too much. Obama slammed the bedroom door; a loud argument ensued among grown-ups.

Not the quality time Obama has in mind in asking dads to turn off the TV now.

___

n oh, Happy fathers' day.

"Humble pie is something that from this day on I'll be eating for breakfast for the rest of my life." - British celeb chef Gordon Ramsay on his attack on Tracy Grimshaw. 

i think it is a good practice for me too. do it b4 something i do makes me regret. 

Channel NewsAsia - Thursday, June 11

SINGAPORE : A couple, found guilty last month of distributing seditious or objectionable publications, has been sentenced to 8 weeks jail each.

50—year—old SingTel technical officer Ong Kian Cheong and his 46—year—old wife, UBS associate director Dorothy Chan Hien Leng, had been found guilty on four charges each of sedition.

For two decades, the couple spread their faith by handing out religious pamphlets, and then by dropping tracts into random HDB letterboxes.

From around 1998, however, the couple, both Protestant Christians, mailed them to addresses picked out from the telephone directory — those of Muslims included.

They "clearly did so with the intent of convincing the Muslim reader to convert to Christianity", a district court found.

For distributing and possessing seditious and objectionable publications, husband and wife were sentenced to eight weeks’ jail each on Wednesday.

Such "intolerance, insensitivity and ignorance of delicate issues concerning race and religion" in Singapore "clearly warranted" a custodial sentence, said District Judge Roy Neighbour.

In the first full trial heard under the Sedition Act, the married couple of 24 years was found guilty on May 28 of the charges.

In 2007, Mr Irwan Ariffin, 32, and Madam Farhati Ahmad, 36, received an evangelistic comic—style booklet titled The Little Bride through the mail while Mr Isa Raffee, 35, was sent Who Is Allah?.

After a complaint to the police, an ambush was laid and the pair was arrested on Jan 30 last year.

Found in their condominium in Bukit Timah were 439 copies of 11 seditious tracts.

During the 11—day trial, it emerged that the SingTel technical officer and his wife, sent out about 20,000 publications in seven years.

Produced by an American firm called Chick Publications, the fundamentalist Protestant materials were "not only offensive for religious content but also have a tendency to promote feelings of ill—will or hostility between Muslims and Christians in Singapore", said Judge Neighbour.

By distributing tracts with "callous, denigratory, offensive and insensitive statements on religion with aspersions on race", the pair had committed "serious" offences that "have the capacity to undermine and erode the delicate fabric of racial and religious harmony in Singapore".

Common sense, he said, dictated that religious fervor to spread the faith, "in our society, must be constrained by sensitivity, tolerance and mutual respect for another’s faith and religious beliefs".

Ong and Chan were expressionless when sentenced.

Their lawyer Selva K Naidu told the court that they had filed a notice of appeal against the conviction last Friday. He was awaiting instructions to proceed.

The pair faced two charges of distributing seditious publications each, and one each of distributing an objectionable publication and possession of seditious tracts.

They got four weeks’ jail for each charge — two of them running consecutively and the remaining to run concurrently.

They could have been fined up to $5,000 and/or jailed for up to three years for each of the two charges.

The possession charge carries a maximum fine of $2,000 and/or jail for up to 18 months. Distributing objectionable publications is punishable with a fine not exceeding $5,000 and/or up to one year behind bars. — CNA /ls

ran sundown yesterday. was a v hot n windless night despite the route taking us thru open spaces, beaches, lagoons and reservoir. but this year's tee is nicer. and thank God it didnt rain (last year i was drenched thru n thru near my house! ) the volunteers were nicer than last year's as well as stand chart's. i think they did a gr8 job encouraging the runners. and the runners themselves were way nicer too - encouraging pp as they overtook them, cheering others on: a number of ultra-marathoners n cyclists running past us, seeing me struggle said, "good job gals! 3k more!" etc. these pp have better athlete's ethics and they understand pain n perseverence. (i like sundown more cos i cant stand standchart marathon cos of the sun n the pp who dun have running ethics!) i got applauded alot of times. the atmosphere was incredible. one of the things the world needs - more cheerleaders. 

sis waited to "send us off" at the starting point. but was a little too distracted then to appreciate her better than a "thanks thanks." 

this was the 1st time some1 walked wif me and had to support me alot. i ve had done so for others so it was a nice "turning of table" situation for me. was humbling but like i said above, it was nice receiving. thank u jo!

she ran ahead of me 3x n twice i overtook her as she took a toilet break, the other time was wen she missed a turn at the bridge (d volunteer sitting at the railings of the bridge failed to direct her) n run on to downtown east. good thing she realised soon enough that there were no "red shirts!" and called me. so by the time she came back, i reached the bridge and we went on together. she laughingly said she has to run more distance in both marathons she took part in. 

there was this gal who wore a "perth marathon" singlet. she kept overtaking us 5,6 times. got us scratching our heads cos we never knew we had even overtaken her at all! (we were only walking) incredulous when she ran past us about the 6th time, we burst out laughing. 

anyway, this is my last marathon for a long while to come. maybe i shall re-attempt marathon-ing in my late thirties or fourties.. =) giving my knee a good long break. my mum was so happy 2 hear dat this is my last. she jus couldnt understand y i put myself thru such misery.

there's gonna b a big change in my life soon. i m stepping out of the boat. gonna try some "walking on water". tell u more later this week. 

i'm sorry i ve abandoned my blog again. somehow.

was glad dat kris allen won american idol last week. had thought adam would win. but am glad kris did. one allures, the other touches. happened wen i was in silent retreat. 

point to ponder: what does "in the power of the Holy Spirit" mean? we glibly use it... yet do we know?

Virtue is not the sign of a Christian. Joy is. - Madeleine L'Engle, The Rock That is Higher

Asiaone online news 6th may

The Ministry of Education (MOE) has suspended the Association of Women for Action and Research's (AWARE) sexuality programme after a thorough investigation.

In a press statement released this afternoon, the ministry said that the "Comprehensive Sexuality Education: Basic Instructor Guide" had been pulled off because it did not conform to MOE's guidelines in some aspects.

In particular, "some suggested responses in the instructor guide are explicit and inappropriate and convey messages which could promote homosexuality or suggest approval of pre-marital sex"....

iving a reason for its decision, MOE said that the Singapore education system did not promote alternative lifestyles to students.

It said: "MOE's framework for sexuality education reflects the mainstream views and values of Singapore society, where the social norm consists of the married heterosexual family unit."

Apart from looking at AWARE's sexuality programme, the ministry also investigated the course materials used during General Paper (GP) lessons in junior colleges. The material had allegedly carried information on alternative lifestyles.

MOE's decision to investigate AWARE's sexuality programme was a swift turn from its earlier stance late last month.

--

from the forum pages:

In light of this comment, MOE needs to also look into the Advanced CSE programme to ensure that the same content is not perpetuated. - speakingof

Now the old exco is back I think MOE schools wld have to be extremely watchful abt programs from AWARE - if it took a full investigation and a petition of over 6000 to lead MOE to conclude what was already obvious about the CSE, it's going to be hard to tell in future when there are really breaches of their guidelines. I hope for AWARE's sake that the old exco makes the step to renounce their liberal agenda and be explicitly pro-family. - veritasi

At least, one of main concern of Josie Lau and Dr Thio had been addressed. I also happy with decision of MOE on suspending CSE programme from school which might promote alternative lifestyle for the impressionable youth. - desmond.SG

Dear JackOng1,
We should not impose our beliefs on the gays? How about this: the gays should not impose THEIR beliefs on US, and on our children. That's what AWARE's CSE was trying to do. - ahnyaahnya

from yahoo news 6th May

SINGAPORE: AWARE’S extraordinary general meeting (EGM) last Saturday, which was attended by a 3,000—strong crowd of mainly women, was more than just a show of “girl power”.

It was a demonstration of how civil society, without the Government’s overt hand, can handle controversial debates on sensitive issues — and they do not come more explosive than the cocktail of religion and sexuality that dominated the saga.

Yes, the month—long public debate got ugly at times — there is absolutely no space for death threats — and the booing and heckling of speakers at the EGM were regrettable.

But as several observers pointed out, there were more positives than negatives — not least a coming of age for civil society.

--

note: civil: meaning - giving of death threats, "booing and heckling of speakers"? these "regrettable" acts as said is a mark of coming of age of a "civil society"? well done. *dripping with sarcasm*

my right knee hurt 4 no apparent reason. will visit polyclinic tmr. 

--

this is a season of refining. God turned up the heat, caused alot of dross to surface. also brought about alot of healing. all in a very short few weeks.

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are you on a rescue mission or a treasure hunt?

is your focus here on earth on the lost (no matter how noble n good, it is still man-centred) or on the "pearl of greatest worth", and while giving up all, also point others to the joy of finding it?

the former will result in alot of "i must do it or else" mentality. alot of things depend on oneself. the adrenaline rush is there, but the joy and the rest is absent.

many 'hero-type' personalities will be drawn 2 this kind of mission. but not the mary-type, not d enoch-type who can walk and talk with the Lord. they will be too busy to sit with Him while claiming to do His work.

the latter is a joyous discovery not unlike the journey the Holy Spirit invites us along. the adrenaline rush is also there. but the booty is not man, but God. you get God. 

the people on a treasure hunt are able to relate to the last verse of "amazing grace"with a resonance from deep inside. it is john newton's original last verse but the popularised version dont have it. but chris tomlin put it back in2 his contemporary version of "amazing grace" (my chains are gone) :

"the earth shall soon dissolve like snow

 the sun forbear to shine

 the Lord who called me here below

 will be forever mine.....

  You are forever mine..."

been busy all week.

wed was carpenter all day. do up shelves, dismantle bedposts etc. thumbs were sore from screwin n unscrewin shelf brackets. 

thurs went ard lookin 4 my particular shelf's brackets. cos some were old n rusted so they broke. anyway was hard finding. had 2 settle 4 some substitute. met trinity 4 prayer. was good. but d cafe we went too was too ex. man, silly D have atas taste but no pocket-substance. but then again she smart cos we treated her 4 bday.

today packed all day again. i nearly fall into the housewife trap - because i ve been packin n cleanin all day, i expect opp 2 come home n pick up their part asap, 4gettin dat they have been workin all day, need rest. so dun nag or get impatient! haha. like i said, i didnt fall, juz so nearly! was getting impatient with mum when i caught myself. hm.

it s been so very hot these days! n i get rash wen it s v hot. so been havin red patches these past 3 days.

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i ve got 5 disciples gettin married this year (fr next month onwards). n a cousin. n 2 dear galfriends. i think a few more sendin invites. sigh... dats at least $800! n cant siam one. must save!

they r doin retiling works at the void deck. been at it for days. wonder wat's takin them so long. drill n drill. i cant even hear myself think or read or do QT properly. feels almost as if there's a dentist in my brain drilling!

d way 2 drown out the noise ard is 2 turn up d music u wanna listen 2. 

dat's wat my bro told me as i wondered how he could study with all this noise. he blasted worship music in his room. while i didnt have the  speakers 2 do it for me, i plugged into my shuffle. listening 2 worship music, audio bible, MP3 sermons. man... what a great way 2 combat all dat drilling noise! 

today is long service award. i got it cos i served for 8 years. it's incredible how so many others can serve God in this company for more than 35 years. 

from faith to faithfulness. 

i love d song "blessing unto nations". 

it's been a rather incredible day. i wouldnt have expected it 2 have turned out dis way. 1st time connected with dad. felt his heart as i heard his tots n reflections. God is doin a gr8 thing. will fast n pray.

wat i got fr d conference in philippines:

- a few dubious looking insect bites.

- less body weight cos i didnt get 2 eat as much as i normally do

- came in contact with a godly woman (key speaker) whose love for the Word and intimacy for God is unparalleled in d conf. (praise God for debbie)

- a prayer appt set up by God leadin 2 a breakthru in an area i didnt know i desperately need, giving me handles (thank God for susan). it's like some domino effect.1 lies down n so many others topple with it. truth seeped deeper in2 my soul- God is good

- "so heavenly-minded dat u r no earthly-good" is a lie dat as derailed so many. i ve seen enough tragedies- people who spend less time wif God n in His word cos they bought into this. u cant be heavenly-minded dat u r no earthly-good unless u r "pirated heavenly minded". noe wat i mean? d bible tells us to set our minds on things above, 2 fix our eyes on Jesus (who is seated at the right hand of the Father!!!) if u r really heavenly-minded, u will definitely be of immense earthly good! 

- d preoccupation of one's mind n heart can easily be seen, whether it is God n His word or d ways of men. let me resolve to know nothing except Christ n Him crucified. (1 Cor 2)

- man like 2 pursue knowledge n be thot wise. but the wisdom of man is foolishness to God. one should not come with "clever n persuasive words" lest the cross be emptied of its power (1 cor 1:17, 2:4)

- wat blessedness 2 be accepted unconditionally n 2 have a fellow sojourner! 

i m blessed. i m loved. God delights in me. 

there's alot 2b done. many things will happen. exciting stuff akan datang! 

going to philippines today till sunday. 

hope i get 2 hang out at the beach. been 2 like d most beautiful places in philippines BUT never really seeing d beaches that i m so close to! all cos i m at conferences!!! sigh. this looks like another one of those again. colleague booked flights such dat we reach in time n leave immediately after. sigh. wat da.........

back home. busy with Easter kids' prog prep. 

here's a link i found dat is about the story of three trees. not sure if it's really by this person.

found it interesting cos it's "evan"

http://backdoorbible.org/html/evan.htm

i'm sorry i havent been blogging. alot have happened in my life.

after chennai, i attended ISOW (international school of worship) with some of the kid-worship leaders from church. learnt quite a bit. i also attended a number of other courses which took my whole days, leaving me scrambling to have my DGs and settle stuff at nights or weekends. got 4 certs saying i m competent in the relevant areas of training blah blah.

now, i m actuallyat an internet cafe in spore! haha. can u believe?! well, i m house-sitting 4 Pat. it
's more like grace and space given to me to reflect n plan. so will be there till wed. didnt bring my laptop (anyway i dunno d broadband password at the house anyway) so here's my brief attempt 2 keep my blog alive.

there were a few drafts typed in the past weeks. will sort and tidy them up and publish it after wed. so... if u are about to be real bored n disappointed by this blog. sorry. check back on fri... good fri!
and meanwhile, enjoy ur (passion) week!

Am i loving God wholeheartedly?

Am i loving people unconditionally?

this is the yardstick

in a race to save some face, why not conquer some inner space - mystics

- Benny Ho in "Finding Balance in a Busy World"

重话要轻说

坏话要好说


破坏感情的话不要说

- Perfect Cut 2 

i m enjoying myself in chennai. leen's a v good host! it's 11.43pm here. but 2.11am in spore. haha. juz the kind of time zone dat justifies my sleeping habits. ok blog more.

leaving on the jet plane. to chennai.
a ball of rojak feelings! i wonder why i feel so ambivalent.
n i wonder if this IS the way i feel every trip i make. well, this is hol. hmmm...

ok.. check back with you sometime soon. need to board now. cheers. stay walking in the Lord =)

the branch of the vine does not worry, and toil, and rush here to seek for sunshine, and there to find rain. No; it rests in union and communion with vine; and at the right time, and in the right way, is the right fruit found on it. let us so abide in the Lord Jesus - Hudson Taylor

"dun let ur discouragement be your irresponsibility" - yeep 2 D

some people are so afraid of feeling lost that they will hop onto the very next thing that comes by regardless it is from God or not. 

juz watched "slumdog millionaire" tonight.

didnt realise dat it won oscars for

cinematography (this is a clear win!), directing, best picture, film editting, sound mixing, music -song (i was surprised to find out that they incorporated chinese drums into the music. simply delightful!), music -score (only cos i think bollywood's beats r novel to the US. i do really wish Wall.E had won this instead!) and writing -adapted!

watched "changeling" wif Schua, and also Curious case of Benjamin Button

button got

make-up & visual effects. i think it wins hands down for those. 

the 166 min long movie didnt drain me as much as it did for many i know. i think i eno

changeling was such an emotionally draining one: her son's alive... no he's not... yes there is hope! sometimes we really dunno which does more harm - to hope or not. should we keep on hoping or let go and move on best as we can? can we even live without hope? 

kate winslet is a v v gracious person. i loved her thank-you speech. 

n yes i m still impressed by sean penn (with watever bits they showed on tv) tho i didnt catch "Milk"

tho there's alot of other movies i would love to catch... but i think i've spent (or wasted) enuf time already. 

i think this year's academy awards is really something. they really worked hard 2 make it different. wat i m so glad abt it was how they got past oscar winners to commend this year's nominees. the look on their faces, soaking up the affirmation, juz drummed in the message that people need encouragement no matter how "big" they are. and wat a way to do it! 

i always enjoyed watching the academy awards. maybe it fuels the performance-loving streak in me (biao yan yu). nonetheless, i also draw lessons and inspiration from it. 

the world gives out trophies and we clamour for them, but at what price? the Lord gives out lasting rewards but there's no glamour about them in this world. the world and all its glory will fade away. what is done for the Lord will last.

i m more visual than audio. (like i said on my fb: i would rather be deaf than blind) this came up in a conversation i had wif ZZ. yes i m. but sometimes i surprise myself cos i hear n remember words. sometimes shockingly well. maybe cos i LOVE quotes. and the below is one:

"i shall pass thru this world but once. any good therefore that i can do or any kindness that i can show to any human being, let me do it now. let me not defer or neglect it, for i shall not pass this way again" 

i heard this on the video tribute to Jerry Lewis (think he said it on some show n they ended his tribute vid with his voice saying this) before he came onstage to receive the jean hersholt award. i googled it and found it mostly attributed to Stephen Grellet. amazing quote. 

i got a new pair of specs. walked ard in it today. felt like the world was spinning. my eyesight deteriorated v badly.  myopia n astig increased by more than 100 degrees. sigh. changed my contact lens to the astig ones too. i didnt realise i had been straining my eyes so much and walking ard pretty "blindly". man, it's amazing how i didnt realise it at all! how can i not know?!?!

read "the shack" by Wm Paul Young. wonderful christian novel. really good writing. it's amazing to have so much theology in such a digestible form! =)  

learnt alot of things, thought thru alot of things. sorry will try shake it out of me another time... =p

i cooked laksa for mum n me tonight. it was pretty yummy. took n pic of it on mum's hp. too lazy to transfer n upload it here. had the best time interacting one on one with mum since eons. 

have been bitten by the cooking bug; have been itching to cook n try out new stuff. will really set time aside to do so. 

perhaps next weekend i'll cook fish stuffed with herbs, with cream sauce n served with olive rice balls. hmmm... n i'll start recording cooking shows. 

been fantasizing about taking leave to read, cook n paint! something like take a half year off work? hmm...yar, like i'd have anything 2 leave on.

---

my white sony ericsson slide phone so died-ed-ed. i bought an ice cream - LG ice cream. rather my sis helped me get it tonight. thank you HUI! sorry for all the trouble. it's pretty n has cool lights on the front. funny dat wat i like abt it is not its cool features but that 1) it's PINK! hahah.strawberry pink. 2) it's a flip phone. no more other kinds for me! 3) it's within my budget. i refuse to pay anything above $100. 

now, it's charging n i have problem transferring my 1000+ numbers over.n it seems like my bluetooth is undetectable by it. dear me. 

if you have sms-ed or called me n i seem to not respond, pls give me 2 more days n sms/call me again k? =p

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m excited about the Alpha and the "walk thru the New Testament" courses my church is running. i pray i can get at least 1 fren 2 go for alpha. 

the next american idol's gonna b neither Caucasian nor Black. 

quoting someone:

church attendance shows how popular church is

prayer meeting attendance shows how popular God is.

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i m taking a course in a school dat shall remain unnamed. n doing my reading (the 2 textbooks of the course) left me badly disillusioned. i'm doing some cross-culture course. a christian one. for preparing missionaries. n i m so darn disappointed at how the world's ways have been used to teach the disciples of God rather than the other way round. it's a whole load of crap! i felt as if i was reading my NUS anthropology texts! m i reading a christian course?!?! academics try to infuse the world's wisdom into a Christian topic dat should be filled more with biblical principles. it's world's methods, thoughts, SOPs and the sprinklings of bible verses quoted were there to support their point. academics pumping loads of hot air into the dissertation to get some crap degree but is totally useless when held up to the Bible.  at first i thought i was being closed-minded or critical.but after reading half of the 1st tb n 1st chapter of the 2nd, i felt that i could have better used my time juz reading n gleaning from the Bible about missions and cross-culture. 

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8 years ago i said some things about Bush when he took on his 1st term as president. n i was right. 

the recession we see is not going to go away in 1 or 2 years. obama will not be able to turn it around. it will seem like he can. but it'll all crumble down like a pack of cards. US doesnt have enough money. this is the work of God allowing man to undo himself by his own greed. those are strong will fall. 

it's a time to rethink in whom we place our trust in. in a president who orates well? in a govt to put in place good policies to weather this crisis and take care of its people? has your assurance been how much you ve stashed in the bank or how well your portfolio is doing? that you are climbing the career ladder in good speed, ahead of your peers? it's also a time to question our faith. are we worrying like any other man-in-the-street who do not know God? are we as frightened as one without hope or assurance?  

God is stripping away the glory of the world. and shaking everything dat can be shaken. His word will stand. His glory shall not be given to another. isaiah 48:11. and His people, those who put their trust not in man but Him, will be saved. 

---

we prayed for revival. r we ready to pay the price? 

i need resuscitation. i need 2 b revived. 

i'm not a quitter n these r the most unlikely situations i d think i ll quit. 

i didnt quit. but there r pp saying i should. dat once i'm out You'll lead n guide. 

You noe my convictions abt it. yet...

hm.

Lord say something. let me hear u.

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i never thot i'd say "you suck". n i did. n worse, i meant it. every childish bit of it. i m so very disappointed with you. 

----

wat i learnt during CNY:

i m so full of pride, i m pathetic. 

i ve got a model on how to love n honour my mother. my aunty's a shining eg. 

---

my hp's kinda gone. ka-ponk. waiting for sat for a good deal on non-nokia, non-sony ericsson. 

---

uyiwch eimc eipr cjepr hguieh xheuiehuicrheuirzhweuizuaeichfuihuihcwif grui i m incoherent. 

Prayer is not a substitute for hard work — prayer is the work! God does things in and through our lives by prayer that He does in no other way. As we pray, and as our attention is turned toward God, we become more receptive to aligning our lives with His will.
God will not equip us with His power while we are racing off to our next appointment! His Spirit will not empower us if we are oblivious to what He is saying. He requires our complete attention before He will fill us with the powerful presence of His Spirit.

from Experiencing God Day by Day, 
a devotional by Henry and Richard Blackaby
2nd October entry

"in prayer it is better to have heart without words than words without heart." - John Bunyan

to pray is to listen to the One who calls you "my beloved daughter," "my beloved son," "my beloved child." to pray is to let that voice speak to the center of your being, to your guts, and let that voice resound in your whole being. - Henri Nouwen

to get nations back on their feet, we must first get down on our knees - Billy Graham

i declare a week of personal fast n prayer. 

"the whole course of the life is upset by the failure to put God where He belongs." - A.W Tozer

it's not that i juz opened my eyes. it's that now it's time for me to open my mouth. 

it's time 4 action. 2 rise up. no more sleeping. no more lazing. time is short. labour while it is day. 

The real need for depth is not mainly in terms of higher complexity of truth. The real need for most people is greater depth of penetration of the simple truths into hearts and lives.

so when u find yourselves stuck at some "simple ideas" or "familiar passages of the Bible", get off of the theoretical and down to the practical. So ask, "Why don’t we always apply this simple truth?" In other words, "What are the elements of our circumstances, priorities, etc. that keep us from obeying what God so clearly teaches us."

I have been having near-perfect days! i ve been basically going thru days AMAZED by the goodness of God!
say wednesday, i got to meet 6 med students n dentist n got to catch up and hear from them. it is a rather mean feat considering how every1's timing juz fit incredible like pieces of puzzle falling into place in my schedule. n not to mention their willingness to meet!
i was already blessed by the interaction with them. then... stepping into the MRT, i met Evelyn whom i havent met in a long time! and she asked me abt PEPSI n within the travelling to 1 stop, i managed to answer her question n meet her need that helped her cell group's planning. n for me, i was encouraged that she is actively involved in her cell group. and finding her on FB, she is growing n committing herself to the Word more this year. greater encouragement.

then thurs, having a good meeting with my med staff team and then being able to lunch with JL at TTSH. meeting drs n students in middle of sch is almost like ti-kum-ing. they dun know their schedule, when they can have lunch (many times they cant!) n even if we can lunch more than 10min tog! had a good interaction with Jon n prayed. i was so encouraged by his ministering to me! n i was supposed 2 b the staff! then down to Lily's. had a good time with lincoln then also praying. again, it felt like my schedule was God-arranged. so very swee2 swee4

today, went for my last CSM. i m already overjoyed at the prospect that i m no longer in campus. n they were so sweet. wanted 2 do a closure n "send off". n did it as a appreciation to me n ZZ. n of course got a little borders card. got sharon to appreciate me n of course she praised me 2 the skies. i got to say my "last words" and appreciate the leadership n my ex-team. then had a surprise appreciation fr D as he abruptly requested to say sometihng. at first i didnt noe how 2 react. then i relaxed n received his words. a definite leap on his part n for me, answered prayers for restoration n healing. i felt God juz gave me a fabulous closure. something extra but so very good! the sharing n prayer was refreshing. had a gr8 lunch with ZZ n jan choo. then coming back 2 the office, helped calyn. n while helping, gail found me and i could help her get her job done n she kept saying "seeing you makes me so happy". like more than 10 times! n despite it being such a small thing n we not meaning anything more than colleges to each other, this exclamation made me so very happy too! then travelling down to city hall with SW. met evelyn again! we got more chance to chat n she shared with me her life. n so uplifted by my interactions with every1 today.it's like some impossibly perfect day where every1 u meet tells u how great u r, that they love u, or open their hearts n share with u. n the praying tog adds the icing to the cake. it's been such a sweet sweet day. or days. thank You Lord!

it's like God using all of us to resource, encourage and spur one another along. that i can give n help others n others can b brought into my path by God to refresh me. it's like mini perfect demo of the body of Christ living n helping one another. i really feel v loved n favoured.

back to sch! muahaha.

i m confused regarding the structure of my min. where m i? still under NUS? sigh.

my back'll break if i cont carrying such heavy load! next comp i'll buy will be the ASUS EeePC! cos it's light! carrying my laptop to n fro, plus bible, umbrella etc is so not good! 

next hp - a clamshell motorola. yes i miss my clamshell. after so many diff models- slide, candy bar, clamshell... i still like the clamshell. 

hmm... much as i like n embrace change, i still m a creature of habit, going back to my "vomit"! haha. same long wallet (cos i like the features even tho i was trying to get a diff one), same kind, n i think model of phone (cos it's got my heart! haha)

WHY ONE SHOULD NOT WATCH HORROR SHOWS like ghost whisperer etc:

even tho it brings to an awareness of the supernatural, that there is a reality beyond what we can see, and that we are not all in control of our lives, situations etc. 

- it erases God from the picture. a sovereign God is absent. these shows are essentially atheistic in nature. anything that removes God from the picture is diabolically opposed to God and the knowledge of Him. 

- it exaggerates n focuses us on the power of the "evil" supernatural world. and gives authority (which the supernatural forces DONT) to wreak havoc. 

if you are trying to grow in your sensitivity and awareness of God's presence n His ways through understanding the Word, and learning to apply it in your daily life, this totally sets you back.

erm, doesnt knowing these keeps us safe n makes it ok to watch it? 

well, u know about slow cooking the frog eh?

i m not a "puritan", nor m i a killjoy. but... seriously, there are better things to do to relax or  to entertain you. u can make a better choice. n there are better choices. 

God is a God of pleasures. in His right hand are pleasures evermore. ps 16:11. 

every good thing comes from Him. Ps 16:2, Js 1:17

there's no good thing APART from Him. so anything that does not exalt the knowledge of God, anything that opposes the knowledge of God, this we need to cast away.  

go to Him for a really good thing- a pleasure n joy that does not leave a bad hang-over in the morning, does not haunt u in the stillness of night, doesnt leave you scrambling to cover up. 

no, it's not a chick novel stained with sexual overtones. no it's not a video download that gets adrenaline n endorphins into your system. 

some1 asked me this question. n i thot i'd post it for you to help me too:

what is one thing i can learn or do to love people better?

dun tag board ur answer... email, sms, facebook msg me.

is it possible to have a dilemma that i m not yet in?

we really have the choice. it's not as if there arent any in any given situation. 

God really doesnt mess with our freewill.

wat wud i chose? 

it's interesting how this year has unfolded. 2009 promises 2b a blockbuster! =)