today is too good not to post.
started out bad. very busy, lots of things to do, get done. get the keys to our apartment for one. get cheque from KV another. i forgot and drop a few balls. did a few bad mistakes. and by the time i was supposed to lead small group, i felt like just crying. which i did. and it all worked out for so so good!

1) em reminded me that i had asked/wanted more challenge. it made me feel better cos then i realised God brought today in answer to that prayer.

2) in response to me saying i m so not ready to lead, em reminded me that i m a leader. i m always ready to lead. and jules told me that i m a leader so i m ready to lead in season and out of season and this may be out of season for me. they were calling forth and drawing out things in me. really thank God for that cos i was able to ride on that and rise up.

i had been looking forward to leading small group. and i had such vision and plans. i wanted God to show up. I desired that we had more indepth sharing and more vulnerability on the things God is doing in our lives. and more ministering to one another. and God really did answer all my desires! it was amazing.

i began by being more vulnerable that i ever been with them and they prayed for me. and then i prayed for the session and pulled heaven. they cried and then we laughed. shared and prayed and prophesied. it was amazing.

thank You Jesus! i m so in awe of what God is doing in our lives. He is amazing.

Kimb is v sensitive to my pulling on heaven. in the car she was getting high just cos i was praying silently beside her. she said she could feel the open heaven over me.

thank You HS!

and me being so "high" helped me. i really need to be filled by HS. i cant be the right evan without it.
thank God for ironing out things with Jo. and for breaking down the walls, restoring and healing.

and so Lord, we thank You for the work You are doing in each of our lives. thank You for the victories. we seal the victories in Your name and say more Lord. more of You!

I Do Not Love Thee
by Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton

I do not love thee!—no! I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;
And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,
Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.

I do not love thee!—yet, I know not why,
Whate’er thou dost seems still well done, to me:
And often in my solitude I sigh
That those I do love are not more like thee!

I do not love thee!—yet, when thou art gone,
I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.

I do not love thee!—yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue,
Between me and the midnight heaven arise,
Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.

I know I do not love thee! yet, alas!
Others will scarcely trust my candid heart;
And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art.

it's 7.28pm 6th dec now. ( i didnt change the settings. so the blog reflects GMT+8.00 time)
it's currently 3 degrees C. and snow is forecasted for tomorrow. i m not too thrilled abt that now tho. haha. funny huh? i think i wonder how messy and how difficult to do stuff, get to places. oh well. i'll update u again about that.
right now i m not too thrilled about how cold and windy it has been for the past few days. i was amused when coming back to our room, my specs fogged up. back in spore, specs fog up when we go outdoors, here, it's when we get indoors! LOL

m slogging away trying to do the 3 john inductive bible study homework. it's been 3 hours plus. i m beat. 

played debbie gibson's vids on youtube. and found this wonderful song i've never (or dont remember) hearing! DEBBIE GIBSON - FOR BETTER OR WORSE

hmmm... if i ever get married... which i dont have plans to... this will make it to the playlist!

along with... let's see...

- at the beginning by richard marx and donna lewis

- cant help falling in love 

hmm.. both fr disney movies...!

ok... that's all for now... i really need to get back to my homework!!!!!!

it's harder than i had thought! 

prayer Jack Taylor (who came to speak to our class yesterday) shared with us:

"Lord i want You to come upon my ming and change it on every issue where you and i don't see eye-to-eye. please renew my mind until you and i are thinking together."

if it is a FACT of Scripture, i must BELIEVE it.

if it is a REVELATION, i must RECEIVE it. 

if it is an EVENT, i must EXPERIENCE it.

if it is a RELATIONSHIP, it must be CONTINUED. 

adapted from Grasping God's Word (Duvall & Hays):

automatic transportation of the biblical text into our cultural world is called "interpretational reflex." Interpretational reflex "helps" us fill in all the gaps and ambiguities in the biblical texts with explanations and background from our culture. 

however, our cultural background has pre-formed parameters of limiting possibilities for a text even before we grapple with the intended meaning. we therefore subconsciously create a world of interpretive possibilities and IMpossibilities. however, by doing this, we are placing our culture above the Bible and are reading the Bible through culture-coloured lenses. the challenge is to critique our culture with the Bible and not vice versa. 

hence alot of times, when we read a command/promise from the Bible, we may superficially agree but in the back of our minds we write it off. we have allowed what the world, and/or our culture say is impossible to dictate our possibilities instead of really taking God at His word - "with man it is impossible, but with God, it is possible."

it's time to really believe what we say we believe. 

my one week thanksgiving break just flew by so fast!

mon was spent at emily's place. was somewhat a treat retreat for me. it was SO therapeutic to sit on a couch that is clean and the environment quiet. i miss a "house" place. staying at simpson's one side of a room just makes me feel "argh".

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tues thanksgiving session with Bill. "dont believe anything they write about you. in fact, dont even read it." i think that is something i put a note for self to. if it is good, and you believe, you may get proud. i'd rather have God's report cos that'll never puff me up. if it is bad, then i really dont need critics to pull me down. then it's impartation.

chatted with Julia from 5-10! shared God-given vision n prophesied.

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wed - apartment viewing and met joanne chun for dinner. went to jade garden. wonderful authentic vietnamese food! felt so blessed by the fellowship. she prayed and prophesied over us in the parking lot. puzzled the restaurant owners.

thurs was thanksgiving. my 1st ever thanksgiving. 

and who would've guessed buying a car could get me (us) a thanksgiving meal: turkey, all the yummy dishes and pies. and wonderful fellowship with a wonderful family - the Pearsons, Todds, Robinsons. we went one round the table saying what we were thankful to God for. their faith was evident in their sharing. they shared not just food with us, not just family time, but their lives - who they are, their journey, their struggles. these are saints. my older brothers and sisters in Christ who have such a heart for God and men. i love being in their company. took a walk to digest the sumptuous food before the dessert. last Christmas Wes had a heart attack just before dessert. diana was thankful he survived and is still around with her. i was thankful of that too. that i had the privilege to enjoy his unassuming disposition and humour. at 76, he amazes me. and there's joan too. tho almost blind, she does not let it hinder her nor get her spirits down. u wouldnt have guessed she couldnt see by her confident strides as she took us on the McConnell trails. and what a love she has for young people! and Pam... all 3 remarkable ladies with their spouses. Lord bless them with health for the rest of their lives. 

then it was off to Nicola's. was treated to another round of great food and fellowship with Emma n her. 

what i m thankful for? the privilege to come to Bethel. it's been nothing less than a miracle, and it's been really incredible (forgive my limited vocabulary!) to sit at the feet of such anointed fathers of faith and to receive impartation. i m thankful for a supportive family (biological), and a supportive spiritual family (ASE and Bethel). i m thankful for my co-journer, my covenantal friend whom God has used to love, challenge, mold me. 

i really have so much to thank You for Lord. all the little and big blessings that came my way. thank You for You, Father, Saviour, Friend. 

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black friday. the best and craziest sale ever! we went Walmart, Target, KMart and Sears. got microwave @$18, vacuum cleaner @$9, crockpot @$3, 32pc dinnerware @$18, 16pc cookware @25.... but all these spoils were gotten at 4-7am! 

we prayed that we would get all the things we need. well, we got them! thank You, Jesus! 

watched "UP" cried buckets.

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sat was homework, gym. swam. watched "Hulk". Jo cooked lunch and dinner.

read "Love has a face" by Michele Perry. it's about her doing ministry in war-torn Sudan. 

amazing book. praise God!

3 steps to ministry success in Iris Ministry (Sudan), p73:

step 1: every morning wake up.

step 2: Ask Jesus what He is doing that day - not what He wants you to do, but what He is already doing.

step 3: Go join Him. 

Holy desperation became the context for holy demonstration. Dignified has never changed the world. Desperate has. (p 65)

Jesus let me love with Your love and see with Your eyes. show me what it means to be the expression of Your heart to those around me.... love did have a face: mine. (p55)

this love does not start with a good program. it cannot. it starts with being in love, being intimately connected to Jesus. it starts with knowing first that i am loved. i cannot give what i do not have. it is supernatural. it cannot be apart from Him. All living fruit in my life has come only from a living relationship with Him. (p52)

pray with me this prayer adapted from what Perry wrote at the end of the book:

"i ask right now, Holy Spirit, that You wash over me and fill me with Your perfect love. give me child-eyes to see the invitation of the unpaved road draw me deeper into Your heart, that i may live all of life from the place of knowing how loved i m. Papa, wrap Your arms around me. let me hear the songs You sing over me in the night. Let them know the place i have in Your house. Let me now that You love me.

i ask You, Papa, to stir hunger in me and call forth the dreams You have placed in my heart that i have not even dared to embrace. Take me lower in humility, deeper in intimacy and higher in revelation. i ask that you submerge me in Your fiery presence until they are see-through in love and carry Your glory wherever i go. 

i ask You for a movement of love to begin one life at a time that will literally change nations from the inside out. teach me how to dance in the storm, and let me live a life of love without limit. Amen." 

my car came back fr the car spa (repair shop). looking shiny n new from the behind. haha. nice butt! 

it's thanksgiving break. school's out for a week. will take this time to do the needed reflection and impending homework deadlines. i'm learning so much that i feel i m gorging myself at the buffet table. Holy Spirit, help me digest what You have showed me. 

will b going over the Emily's for some sort of retreat. retreat for the space-starved me. 

vampires, twilight, new moon series and the christian response

http://www.cbn.com/entertainment/screen/goodwyn-vampires-twilight-obsession.aspx

it's 5 degrees now. 

yesterday God showed me i needed to get my priorities right: to BE not be distracted by the DO.

i love my outreach. this was my last pastor-on-call duty. totally enjoyed it. but i m also looking forward to going out next week for outreach. 

on our way home, our outreach group mate  rear-ended my car which was stationery. my neck kinda hurt from the whiplash and i was kinda in shock for sometime. thankfully joanne was totally fine and she directed me to park at the side of the road when i was still seh from the impact and she got down and liaised with the guy. 

our car was fine, when i (finally) got out to examine it, i hardly believed i was rammed into cos besides the scrunched up license plate, everything looked fine. but my friend's car looked bad. his bonnet cant even open. 

got my 1st job offer since i got into BSSM yesterday... hmm... so God gave me some reassurance... =)

pp r getting healed, saved, delivered daily. miracles abound. deaf hear... cancer patients, given 2 weeks to live get completely healed. pp with one leg shorter than the other saw that leg grow out to the same length right before their eyes...

our God is a powerful God and He shows it! 

JUST came back from watching "THIS IS IT". man... i was enjoying it so much. Michael Jackson is really something. God really made him so so creative. at times he talks about the music arrangement as if he is cooking something - "let it simmer...", "take all the nourishment.." haha.

he is amazing. and it's nice to see him move into more jazz... i like the way he did "the way you make me feel." n i LOVE the vids and special effects for the opening, "they dont really care about us", "earth song", "thriller". but "Smooth criminal" takes the cake!

if you are gonna watch the movie, stay right till the end cos they have a short clip at the end. 

this is one movie i would want to get its dvd. 

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thank you all of you for sending your birthday greetings! THANK YOU!!!

thank to those who 

made me something: pps (teenster!!!!!!), card...

gave me something: thru amazon (YT thanks!!!!), thru my bathroom door... haha (my dear suite-mates), heather for the apple pie.....

sang me happy birthday umpteen times...

will give me prophetic blessing and words of knowledge tonight (cya at 8 in the commons)

i have been looking forward to this birthday for a long time... cos it's the BIG 3-0. and i think it is very significant. a whole new chapter. a whole new ERA.... i love my twenties.. n each year was better than the next... so i really look forward to my thirties. something tells me it will be a blast. i cant wait to live out my days with the Lord. it's amazing to spend my life with Him (well, of course He gave me this life). 

what i did on 3rd november.... well, my birthday thingy kinda started when it's 3rd nov in spore.... the well wishes came pouring in. n it was only afternoon on 2nd over here. so i kinda started feeling it was my birthday since the 2nd. and i m still celebrating today. open some presents then went to the Prayer house to soak after midnight... went to Rivers restaurant for lunch cos it overlooks the river to the mountains... if dinner then cant see anything... sun sets at 5 now. spent the whole afternoon out on the patio eating and taking pictures, reading the bible, journalling. God gave me amazing weather - sunny ard 20 degrees. so it's not hot and not cold so i could comfortably wear a skirt and a thin nylon blouse like i do in spore. then despite a huge row i had, i ended 3rd nov back in the prayer house soaking. was so good i could go on all night but decided to come back to honour the dorm curfew. 

i hope no one sms-ed me on my spore number cos it's been suspended since i m over here. so FB or email me. u could call...but then.. watch the time hor... hee hee....

God bless you all. thank you for being sharing your life with me. it's a privilege to share mine with you. 

today Daylight savings end. dont ask me what it means. all i know is that the clocks get turn back 1 hour. i forgot about that so i was puzzled when i saw the 1st service guys walking out to their car a 9.15am. i was like.... "arent they late?" no they're not. i'm early!

so... we are now 16 hours behind singapore time. hmmm... it means i get to sleep in later! haha. 

friend bought this album. just got to hear it. i m blown away by this song. there is more than meets the eye in this.... hear it with spiritual hears... He who has a ear, let him hear...

you'll c MJ in heaven when you get there. 

will try catch his movie in the coming few days...

anyway i m stoked learning that sch has a break on 3rd and 4th nov!! so i have a long weekend break till thursday! man... God is so good to me...

time flies so fast! wish it'll slow down for me to take in all that i m learning here!

thank God for the grace poured into my life by people:

Holly last thurs, tonight, Claire. and of course the many many people in my everyday interactions. 

the Body of Christ will indeed rise up and be the victorious Bride that together with the Spirit say to Jesus, "come!" (see rev 22) 

brrr... it's 51 degrees F now. so it's about 9.5 degrees C. c-cold...

bought my 1st car today 22nd october (it's 23rd in spore). 97 toyota corolla for USD1900. thank God for all the help to get this. 

1.felt God held the car for us. 

2. dormmate who knew alot about cars came by as we viewed the car and he helped us check engine, oil etc.  and made sure it is good. 

3. seller is Christian and very forthcoming. had all the maintenance records etc in good order.

4. the procedures went smoothly

the seller invited us to their relatives' place for thanksgiving. i had initially thought he was "just saying". but he repeated it in front of his wife and she heartedly agreed and asked if he (seller) has our number. 

but driving on the other side of the road has been stressful to me. it's v counter-intuitive. i would still check the wrong side 1st or drive on the wrong side (thankfully it is a residential place so no other cars were there). or turn on the wipers when i m trying to signal! LOL

i have been learning SO SO much over here that my mind is unable to keep up. but i believe that as my spirit soaks it up, and internalize the stuff, my mind will catch up in time to come.

God has been blessing me so much with people coming along to offer us rides, helping us to get our errands done when we are so immobile. bus service is v scarce and without a car it is v v inconvenient. so right now, i m basking in His gracious providence of friendship and hospitality of people. thank You Lord. 

May i encourage you to  take time to pause and take stock of His grace that is poured into your day today or the past week and give thanks? God is good. to me and to you. really good. 

fall's here but one can hardly agree when it's 45 degrees celsius here!

but today was an Eph3:20 day for me. 

Erin invited us to come with her and some friends: Gordon, Eliana, Olga, n 2 boys - Benny n Benton. Erin kindly came and pick us up at the dorm. 

went hiking around Brandy Creek and up to the waterfalls. had a little trouble climbing there but soon i got more used to it. it was cool up in the mountains. the view and the forest got me really glad. took alot of pictures. one of those were of hundreds of ladybugs. whole logs were full of them. Oliver told us that ladybugs are called "defender of the harvest." and farmers love them cos they eat aphids and other pests that destroy their crops. 

at the waterfall i had a wonderful time worshipping God. i felt God's presence sitting there on the rock. 

after getting back into our cars, the boys went down to the another waterfall to swim. we didnt go cos the climb down was taxing. i thought we wouldnt have another chance to swim. Olga suggested we go to the lake to eat our very late lunches after 3pm). 

after understanding where we were heading to Whiskeytown lake i was elated. 

last sat my dorm friends went to whiskeytown lake n i chose to stay back to do my book reports and spend time reflecting. i told God i wanted to go to the lake and around the mountains but not that sat.

God answered the very next sat! and over and beyond! we had great company. and food. and i escaped the heat. 

today's ben's birthday. we had a birthday celebration for him.  40 odd of us were at the BBQ area (yes... juz outside my room....) after singing "Happy Birthday", we gathered around him and started prophesying and praying for him. went on and so long and then after, rick asked if he could have the honour to wash his feet. wow. i was really blown away by these mostly 18 year olds and few older ones. they are incredible! and the gifts they operate in... wow such move of God... my heart was so filled up just seeing the love displayed and the honour given to this dear brother. 

kris Vallotton's messages were powerful. everyday here is like... so overwhelming. i'm receiving so much in the spirit... my mind cannot make sense of what's happening inside yet. but i know God's working... 

everything's good here. i really feel overwhelming blessed.

d food's here's so good too! i was concerned that i wud miss rice since i m such a rice person. but... the dining center has been giving me rice at least 4 days out of the 8 that i've been here! n today... they actually had our kind of rice! u noe wat i mean? the past few days were mexican grains. today's tasted like Thai Fragrant rice! i was elated! God's so good to me! n on top of that, there's this Filipino who has brought a packet of rice n rice cooker! n we r sharing. well, i'm cooking. so we'll have dat rice whenever i finally get down to cook. =)

1 down thing is that my room's right in front of the BBQ compound. besides the lounge, people gather there to worship and have our Holy Ghost parties where they get drunk on..... well the Holy Ghost! so the noise of drums and guit, loud singing, and people praying n laughing hysterically is to be expected. what i didnt expect was the smoke.... they lit a fire for the past 3 nights. i had to close my window n door, stuff wet towel in the gaps where smoke can come in. n joanne claimed our things smelled.  oh well.

things have settled down well. work is getting due and so i've been hitting my book hard =) it's weird cos i have to take sometime to shake off my university studying mindset. it's very different here.  there's no pressure but the KS thing just auto on n i have to shut it down. i took time to shake off the thesis writing mode n tell myself, "hey, i'm doing my assignments not to score here. it's for me to learn. i can do it in whatever format, and ways i like."

main thing dat i have been doing is juz thanking God. 2 sit at the feet of spiritual giants and learn from them, staying with young people who are so on fire.... i'm really overwhelming blessed. it's heaven here on earth!