caught a little of the movie "gladiator" on channel 5. as usual bloodthirsty crowd chanting "kill kill kill" as they cheer on the deaths of the gladiators at the colosseum turned me off. but tonight, a startling recognition of similarity. the crowds in Jerusalem who hailed "Hosanna" also cried "crucify!" and in both instances, i see me. murderous and inhuman.

what are we apart from Christ?

we create our own problems. it's not someone else's fault. it's not our genes. it's not the weather. it's always cos of our own poor choices.

i know i have a loadful of those.

the silliest thing is to think it's someone's fault cos... then not only have you absolved your responsibility (if only), you have no hope to get out of your Sh#%. and alot of us dont ever cos we always think it's someone else's fault. the saddest thing is... it's your life you are messing up! and a whole lot more too!

wake up. own your life. the SH*@ in your life is not someone's else's responsibility!

stop letting your life go to waste cos "it's all their fault!"

sometimes this is like a cool refreshing drink in the parch desert,

sometimes this is like a tight slap right across the face.

1 Cor 13

yesterday i promised XL i would blog. i have been so slag in updating my blog and she told me she comes here periodically. sorry to those who check out this blog only to find cobwebs! sigh.

anyway, since coming back to SG for summer hols, i have been busy meeting up with people. sometimes i feel i m busier like that than when i was working! b4 returning, i had asked God if i should find a temp job for these 3 months. i had wanted to earn some money for school and living expenses. He told me, "No." i realised the wisdom of it now. being without a job, i was able to go speak and minister to different churches, church groups, small groups, my friends...

there are many that i have not been able to meet up. there are many whom i said "no" to. i hereby write: forgive me.

and add (tongue-in-cheek the cliche): it's not you, it's me.

i have said "no" to more than 10 persons so dont take it personally. and "no" to many who wants "second round." i really cannot afford to meet everyone. don t have enough time. not that i'm that popular. but sometimes being away for so long makes one seem more popular than when one is always around -"Oh, you're back! we must meet up!" i cant do one year's worth of meet ups in few months.

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i just read an email on "how do we keep our passion for Christ?" and it got me thinking.

some may think (like the sunday sch song) read your bible, pray every day. others throw in fasting and witnessing. while others may insist it is getting back to the heart of worship. one in that email, a professor is quoted as saying there are 2 keys - a repentant heart and suffering for Christ. he argues that we keep our passion for God by suffering for Him.

i totally disagree with him! i think he got it the wrong way round - we keep our willingness to suffer for Christ because of our passion for Him! suffering in itself is a result not a motivating factor.

we must not mistake "effect" for "cause", nor "cause" for "effect." Christ suffered (effect) because He loved us (cause). you cannot duplicate "cause" by producing "effect". it does not work itself backwards. an athlete doesnt suffer aches and pains, keeps to his tight and rigorous training schedule in order to keep his passion for his sport. it is his passion for his sport that he pushes himself day after day! likewise, spiritual disciplines are followed to strength oneself spiritually and it is only cos one has passion, not the other way round.

now, i m not against spiritual disciplines, repenting, worshipping, suffering, doing ministry. works are a natural outflow of love for someone. but the acts can never help restore a love-lost or keep love. only love can.

so how do we keep our passion for Christ? to be head over heels in love with Him? that the embers of our passion never die out?

passion and love begets passion and love. we love because He first loved us - 1 John 4:19

"I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me." -SOS 7:10

we keep our passion for Christ by knowing His love for us. what i mean by knowing is not merely cognitively. it's by encountering the Divine Lover. Christ pursues us. God romances us. we need to know the love of Christ - the depth, height, length and breadth of it. should we ever lose our passion for Christ? besides repenting, we need to get a fresh encounter with His love.

i suspect our answers betray how we see Christ, our depth of knowledge of Him. do you see Him as Lord? then serving Him makes sense. if you see Him as a suffering Saviour, suffering for Him is your way of "working out your salvation". if you see Him as a taskmaster, your do's and dont's must be kept. but remember, God is love. it's the essence of Him who came to die for us. Do you know Him and His unconditional, infinite love for you? have you truly experienced it? if not, ask Him to show you not just cognitively. He is so ready to blow you away. just ask those who are so so passionate about Him.

had a great day with the body of Christ. it's wonderful to be in "family"

was at COOS SSM in the day learning and soaking with them.

Spoke at CPC with jo in the evening. came back on the last train.

these people are hungry for God. praise God!

i used to have a very short-term view of life: that i will not live v long b4 Christ will comes back. i m beginning to "see" generations that will come after me. that my life will be lived out to the full and i will "rest" with my fathers until the day of Christ.n my legacy affects generations after me. the Church will go from strength to strength, glory to glory.

why do we have more faith in Adam's act of disobedience to give us a sinful nature than in Jesus' act of obedience to give us a righteous nature? Is Adam more powerful and effective than Jesus? - Joanne W

Dining Out: Top 5 restaurants in Singapore

Reuters - Tuesday, June 1

SINGAPORE, June 1 - The Miele Guide to Asia's finest restaurants is written by food experts who know and love the region .

This is a list of the top 5 restaurants in Singapore, Asia's gourmet hub where the local cuisine is as varied as the international options on offer.

1. Iggy's

Since it opened in September 2004, Iggy's has consistently won rave reviews both locally and internationally. The restaurant, owned by Singaporean Ignatius Chan, received high praise by taking 45th place in The S.Pellegrino World's 50 Best Restaurants 2009. Iggy's kitchen runs without a head chef, but its team of chefs - many of whom have been with the restaurant since it opened - work closely with Iggy (as Chan is known among friends and diners) to develop new dishes and recipes for their delightful four-course table d'hote and eight-course degustation menus (the restaurant does not offer an a la carte option) that focus on showcasing the most exceptional seasonal ingredients. The service is impeccable no matter where you're seated. Reservations at Iggy's are highly recommended.

3F The Regent Singapore

1 Cuscaden Road

www.iggys.com.sg

2. Jaan par Andre

This hot newcomer to this year's Top 20 list is hardly a new restaurant. But since chef Andre Chiang took over the kitchens of Jaan in 2008, he has revitalised the outlet and elevated it to that of gastronomic hotspot, adored by local and regional foodies alike. The first thing that strikes you upon entering Jaan par Andre is the view. Expansive, floor-to-ceiling glass windows front a sweeping panorama of Singapore's cosmopolitan cityscape. But it is chef Chiang's unique French nouvelle cuisine that is the real showstopper. Each dish is gorgeously plated and bursts with flavour, balancing the parameters of creativity and inventiveness while maintaining the integrity and essence of each individual ingredient. Reservations are essential.

70F Equinox Complex

Swissotel The Stamford

2 Stamford Road

www.equinoxcomplex.com

3. Les Amis

With its consistently high food quality, impressive wine collection and reliable service, Les Amis is an institution in fine dining, credited with putting Singapore on the world's gourmet map. Since opening in 1994 - which is a lifetime for the fickle diners of Singapore - it has jolted the sleepy culinary scene and steadily grown its base of loyal customers. Using the season's freshest ingredients, chef Armin Leitgeb deftly executes his creations, preserving the integrity of its flavours and layers of textures. The menu changes every three months but seasonal specials such as white asparagus, truffles or morels demand exceptions. And oenophiles will salivate at Les Amis' award-winning wine list; its S$5-million collection won the Wine Spectator's Grand Award - the only one of three in Asia. Indeed, Les Amis has become an icon of Singapore's gourmet scene, helping to cultivate a generation of more discerning diners and providing Singapore with a stream of restaurateurs and chefs, boosting the dynamism of this diminutive city-state.

#02-16 Shaw Centre

1 Scotts Road

www.lesamis.com.sg

4. Gunther's Modern French Cuisine

Since it opened in August 2007, Gunther's has steadily made a name for itself with its focus on serving only the freshest ingredients. And while 'simple' best describes the food chef Gunther Hubrechsen serves, it is by no means boring. Rather, exquisite produce is treated with a clever lightness to render sublime taste sensations. His food is always light, clean and refined, with little embellishment but plenty of flavour. And diners gladly shell out top dollar for an experience that excites but doesn't overwhelm. This uncomplicated attitude spills over to the simple yet chic 50-seat interior, that now boasts a jolt of whimsy with its Art Nouveau-inspired curvilinear panel designs on its ceiling and at the bar.

36 Purvis Street #01-03

www.gunthers.com.sg

5. Au Jardin

Step into Au Jardin and it's almost easy to forget that you're in urban Singapore. Set in a colonial bungalow nestled among the lush tropical greens of the Botanic Gardens, Au Jardin impresses with its menu of awesome French dishes. So deft is Singaporean chef Galvin Lim with French cuisine that he was inducted into the Commanderie of Cotes de Bordeaux in 2008. The dinner degustation always hits the right notes with specialties like Alaskan crab with radish ravioli and acacia honey mustard vinaigrette. Au Jardin's knowledgeable sommeliers are also on hand to recommend the best wines to go with your dinner.

EJH Corner House

Singapore Botanic Gardens

Visitors Centre

Cluny Road

www.lesamis.com.sg

kris vallotton in spore for school of prophetic ministry. i'm helping out as ministry team.

it's so incredible. listening to his messages so many times and yet i never get tired of listening.

thank You God for bringing Kris to Singapore to build us up.

use us to bless the school.

i'm back in spore. after a wonderful 1st ever family holiday that brought us from up north in California to LA to Yosemite and to SF. a gruelling 2000 miles journey... more than 20 hours on the road. God's hand on this trip was evident since the beginning of planning it. thank You Jesus!

was glad that Spore won the table Tennis world championship! YAY!

met YT, shirley C to celebrate darling's birthday today. was nice meeting up. was a laughing good time.

school ended on 16 may 2010 with our graduation being held at the convention center. i wore the superman tee. tho felt pretty underdressed, i was assured of its significance during worship by God: i had started this journey wearing this superman tee (on 13 sept flying out of Spore to redding) and there i was at the graduation, ending this 1st year journey at BSSM wearing it. this "S" tee stands for the supernatural life that i begun pursuing this year.

and it has indeed been rather supernatural. seen so many miracles. been God's channel to cause some too.

i've changed quite a bit. n come to think of it. it's pretty hard to put into words. words almost cant quite nail it. maybe cos i'm not so good with them. anyway here's my attempt:

1) God is bigger and "good-er" than you think. all Christians are quite programmed to profess "God is good all the time." but yet like me, that confession needs to become a solid conviction. and through this year, this conviction was strengthened.

2) God is powerful. yet most Christians are satisfied with just reading about it from the pages of the Bible than experiencing it themselves.

3) God is less easily offended than Christians. i was more easily offended by people who dont share my notion or ideology about God and i realised... God isnt. He is less uptight, less quick temper, less narrow-minded than i m. "tsk tsk tsk, they should be more respectful to God!" and fail to see God having fun with and enjoying them. he is not impressed with our sobriety nor religiosity.

4) God desires intimacy with us. He wants sons and daughters, friends (John 15) not slaves who mindlessly and robotically obey a hard to please master. He wants to be known. and we can know Him.

went to mexico city for sch mission trip from 20-28th march...
we saw more than 3000 miracles and 400 salvations!!!!!! praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fr pics etc, go check out my facebook =)

just looking at my blog today just saddens me. i used to do it up nicely. now it's just a default design from blogger. and no tagboards, counters, embedded vids or MP3s... oh from what height it has fallen! sorry to my younger friends. evan's too old to bother now... haha...

m feeling SO very hungry today! ate so much bread n still! n made a wrong choice of drink - coffee. now my gastric's having volcanic activity of some sort.

ok. i have just applied for 2nd year in BSSM. just felt it. so just did it. i had wanted to apply after my mission trip. it's weird how sometimes all the inhibitions just fall away and you cant explain it. hmmm... God will You show me what made that change?

i'm in a weird season; a Song of Songs season (where God brings me back to that book everywhere i turn, every book i pick up to read outside school curriculum), and in spite of this, i still find that everything else is still hazy, still needing clarity. there's so many pressing questions unanswered in the midst of prophecies given by so many different individuals about how my path is set, die has been cast, the Lord is guiding my steps. and so often i fall into the temptation of doubting and asking, "where is my path?" "where on earth am i supposed to turn?" sigh... it's times like these i m reminded that i havent gotten it altogether yet and having to tell myself "chill, evan". shant be too hard on myself. shant throw tantrums like a spoilt brat not actually knowing what she really wants. shant lose my peace and rest by demanding pre-mature answers.

"if you use your circumstance as an excuse for not thriving, you are living a lesser gospel." - Crystal S.

was a good day. so glad the sun's up FINALLY. it's supposed to be spring but the past week was COLD!
went walking the Sacremento River Trail wif JH. was good. that reminds me, i need to press in to discover the meaning of my dreams!
"Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the Lord will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream" (Num. 12:6).
There are about 121 mentions of dreams in the Bible. Joseph and Daniel are recorded as having interpreted dreams sent from God, and the Bible describes many incidents of dreams as divine revelation. An example of a Biblical dream is told in which Jacob sees a ladder to heaven.

did GGW 15 on Matthew 25. was surprised dat i actually enjoyed it alot! =)
God comes to you in His majesty and glory as well as in His lowly state (see 25: 31-46). do you receive Him?

ok gtg. barnes and nobles closing. =)

today has been a rather great day... almost every single one has been great i know.
received 3 prophecies/visions from pp and i really need to absorb it and let them sink in. alot of confirmation, affirmation of who i m, what i will do, getting what i have been pressing in for. thank You Jesus!

it's so refreshing to hear a mission trip giveaway from a Christian radio station! instead of some holiday or concert tics, it's my 1st to hear "win a mission trip for you and a friend to Haiti!" wow...! =)

from the book, Journey of Desire:
There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether…. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again.

sitting at barnes & nobles using their free wi-fi. and staying warm. it's been cold n wet these past days. makes me so sleepy. i would have treated myself to starbucks coffee at the cafe here except that i m pretty poor! LOL. starbucks will have to wait another time for my patronage. glad i finally came up with my newsletter. the 1st since i came to redding! cant believe how hard it was for me to do so! there's so much to write such that everything gets so so constipated! haha. my tired brain can hardly function! but typing this out reminded me that now that i have done up my newsletter, i m HERE at B&N to send it out! i cant believe how hibernated my brain is right now. LOL

---

bethel, redding has this way of undoing you. you can come with your masks and duct-tape holding you up. but you will be disheveled, unraveled. the spiritual climate here is pretty interesting. God's presence is so strong. He will deal with you with such loving kindness. you will encounter His deep and intimate love for you.

---

i need to listen better. i need to learn to listen better.
listening as a communication tool, a counselling process is easy. one can get so good in listening in ministry or work or socially... we need to be good listeners in every area of our lives. to every one. especially those closest to you. tho it's the hardest. but it is the most needful n most rewarding. i know some might disagree with the most rewarding part... but sticking to it. the long term benefits far outweigh everything else. listen to Him who speaks lovingly to you in loud and soft voice, in big and small ways.

---

prayed for a lady who was dragging her left leg as she walked along in the 99cent shop today. asked if i could pray for her. turned out she came for healing rooms and as gotten prayers, got healed but the swelling and pain came back. so we prayed and the swelling shrank and she could bend and put her weight on that leg. prayed and prophesied over one another. my first clear healing miracle
---

poem written in response to a piece of prophetic art last week:
swirl over me, sweep me off my feet
woo me, draw me, pull me into the deep
with you, to the secret place i come
staying till One You and i become

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it's CNY n Jo's mum brought over some CNY cookies. yummy pineapple tarts! all u in spore, remember me when you "lou hei"! speak some blessings on my behalf! LOL

happy CNY!!!!
1st time i m away from spore on CNY. miss my family n relatives and yummy food n angbaos!!
just came back from a CNY gathering of chinese in redding. was a really good time of makan-ing and worship and fellowship. got to meet with ang mos who can speak chinese pretty well. i'm honoured to meet them who have such a burden for Chinese.

happy valentine's too...
gtg...
sorry

YT got me a shofar from Israel as a Christmas present. was so happy. but as you know, the shofar stinks...
" The reason that most shofars smell bad is that when they are clean at the factory they cannot remove all residues from the inside. This residue is sinew and flesh that is clinging in crevices and the smell is it decaying."
searched online on how to clean my shofar:

1)
You can start by gently scrubbing the interior of the shofar you can reach with a brush and water. A toothbrush will work. Rinse with water and allow to dry. Try to stand the horn upright, bracing it against something, so no liquid pools in the curves of the horn. Then follow with one or more of the following methods, depending on how the shofar smells after each cleaning.

2)
A little more aggressive approach uses aquarium gravel. The physical action of the gravel against the inside of the horn works to loosen and remove debris. Plug the mouthpiece gently with cotton, or wrap plastic wrap around the mouthpiece and secure with a rubber band. Take about a teaspoon of the gravel (not sand, and not the large rocks) and pour into the large end of the horn. Shake the shofar for several minutes. Pour out and discard the gravel. You can rinse the shofar with water, or again with hydrogen peroxide. Remove the mouthpiece covering and let the horn dry as instructed above.

3)
If there is still a lingering odor, again plug the mouthpiece as directed above. Then fill the shofar half full with hydrogen peroxide. Gently shake the shofar and allow the hydrogen peroxide the loosen any more debris.

Pour out and discard the peroxide. You can repeat this treatment several times. If debris is still coming out of the horn, you may need to repeat the gravel procedure again.

4)
A solution of several tablespoons of baking soda dissolved in water can be poured into the shofar. Block the mouthpiece as instructed above, and again, fill half full and agitate for about a minute. Pour out and discard the liquid. Rinse and allow to dry.

Borax can be used in place of baking soda. Dissolve in water and use the same technique. Borax takes longer than baking soda to dissolve completely. The physical action of the undissolved borax against the inside can help dislodge debris, plus borax is a natural deodorizer. Rinse well after pouring out the borax and allow to dry.

5)
If any odor still remains, a mild bleach solution can be used to clean the shofar. The concentration is 1 tablespoon to a gallon of water. Fill the shofar about half full, as with the hydrogen peroxide method, and shake the shofar. Pour out and discard the bleach solution. Wipe off any bleach that may get on the outside of the horn, and then rinse the horn with clear water. Again, allow the horn to dry in an upright position. It may take several days for the bleach smell to dissipate.

6)
A final method is to place the large opening of the horn against a runningozone machine. It can take anywhere from an hour to overnight to neutralize any remaining odors.

--

After drying your horn thoroughly you must oil it. An anointing oil is recommended that contains myrrh which is a natural preservative. Pour a small amount of the oil in the bell of the horn and swirl around. You can also obtain a trumpet valve brush (buy at music store) to oil the mouth piece end.

sources:
http://www.shofars.org/cleaning_the_shofar.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_5026191_clean-newly-purchased-shofar.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_5015645_clean-shofar.html

was back in singapore for mere 9 days. went by so fast. sorry to those i didnt manage to meet up.
sorry yiwei, f, n gals,...... sorry.

Traveled 32 hours to get back to Redding. Was beat. So I followed up with 14 hours of sleep.
I’ve been waking up at pre-dawn, 5 plus the past 6 days. Only today and yesterday was foggy enough, like how winter’s day should be, not to be able to see the sunrise. I really hope that I can stay like that – waking up so early and having that time to myself and God.
It’s been really cold these two days. Wondering how long does winter last. I dunno!

This trip has been really really fantastic. I was so blessed (and very packed in meeting people). For one, I was impressed by the hunger and humility of people – my pastor, the church’s intercessor ministry, various people whom the Lord spoke to through me. it was incredible. To say the least, I was apprehensive cos “a prophet is without honour in his hometown.” But I was given so much favour and influence it surprised me. well of course I realized hometown for me is “home”. I crashed and burned and wasn’t able to minister and have those incredible breakthroughs and prophecies that I said to most I met up with the 9 days I was back. I really need to work on that – work on loving my family and walking out the real gospel amongst them.

Being back has been really good. I really feel like it’s home here. it’s easy to feel that way when I have my own apartment (slightly smaller than a 3 room flat) with my very own room (I don’t have that in spore), car and a nice routine. And moreoever, the friends I have here, or rather the brothers and sisters, the faith, the spiritual climate, the things I am learning here just tip the scale. Haha. I’m really glad to be back.

For the longest time, I having been feeling like I stumbled into the new year. My newsletters to my supporters over the last 8 years prove it. But this year, I feel such a readiness and a huge anticipation.

2010 is going to be a year of breakthrough and harvest. There will be great growth and advancement of the Kingdom and of course, in me too. My spirit testifies to it and my whole being just lines up and welcomes the new year.

Being back at All Saints also showed me this is going to be so for us as a church. I was tasked the testimony and countdown segment of the Watchnight service. The atmosphere was so different. People were so ready to come up and give testimony. and the focus was also SO right. It was not thanking people but God. I believe God is ushering All Saints into a new “era”, a new season of deeper spirituality and pursuit of Him, and readying us to play that our role in the revival of Singapore.

The Church (not just the local church, but the Body of Christ) will come into her destiny.