Bernard of Clairvaux(1091- 1153), Sermons on the Song of Songs:
We must not give to other what we have received for ourselves; nor must we keep for ourselves that which we have received to spend on others… You dissipate and lse what is your own, if without right intention and form some wrong motive, you hasten to outpour yourself on others when your own soul is only half-filled.

If you are wise therefore you will show yourself reservoir and not a canal. For a canal pours out as fast as it takes in; but a reservoir waits till it is full before it overflows, and so communicates its surplus… we have all too few such reservoirs in the Church at present, though we have canals in plenty… they [canals] desire to pour out when they themselves are not yet impoured; they are readier to speak than to listen, eager to teach that which they do not know, and most anxious to exercise authority on others, although they have not learnt to rule themselves… let the reservoir of which we spoke just now take pattern from the spring; for the spring does not form a stream or spread into a lake unti it is brimful… be filed thyself; then, but discreetly, mind, pour thy fullness out of thy fullness help me if thou canst; and if not, spare thyself.

Ole Hallesby(1879- 1961), Prayer:
Prayer and helplessness are inseparable. Only he who is helpless can truly pray.

Listen to this, you who are often so helpless that you do not know what to do. At times you do not even know how to pray. Your mind seems full of sin and impurity. Your mind is preoccupied with what the Bible calls the world. God and eternal and holy things seems so distant and foreign to you that you feel that you add sin to sin be desiring to approach God in such a state of mind. Now and then you must ask yourself the question, “Do I really desire to be set free from the lukewarmness of my heart and worldly life? Is not my Christian life always lukewarm and half-hearted for the simple reason that deep down in my heart I desire it that way?

Thus an honest soul struggles against the dishonesty of his own being. He feels himself so helplessly lost that his prayers freeze on his very lips.
Listen, my friend! Your helplessness is your best prayer. It calls from your heart to the heart of God with greater effect than all your uttered pleas. He hears it from the very moment that you are seized with helplessness, and He becomes actively engaged at once in hearing and answering the prayer of your helplessness.

Marva Dawn, The Sense of the Call:

If we lack prayerfulness, then the solution is not to hammer ourselves with guilt that we are so bad at it, but to engage in practices that help us know God. We receive grace best by watching it descend from God rather than focusing on our reception of it. 

Anima sana in corpore sano (ASICS)-
a sound mind in a sound body....


had a gr8 worship min retreat on fri n sat. sessions by P PHilip Huan on "the Work of Prayer", "the Levitical call" and "the pillars of an anointed worship team" was a good time of learning from the word. and then the team building time... was good in getting to know people better. otherwise, i thought i could do a better job in explaining the game having better games, and debriefing- drawing lessons on teamwork from the activities. made me realised that over the years, my social work, counselling and group dynamics training, plus working with groups of people and of course playing lots of games n debriefing them had given me considerable experience in this area. a team building consultant charges more than $1000 per afternoon... hmmm.... oh well, my job is not dat... so i shall take joy with getting $1000 a month instead of an afternoon LOL

i've learnt alot from the retreat. one such thing was a greater need for discipline. i have much to do. really. so all the more the need for rest, for seeking the Lord. and such times wont juz come by. i have to carve time out for them. i shall try to really observe my sabbath... shall really get to say no to people... more "yes-es" to God.
have been trying to get deeper into the Word. but realised that while i used to have way more time to dig n plow thru the chapters, now it's taing me forever cos i dun have such extended time.... i shall have to find this extended time! effort, gal!

God has deposited alot of things upon my heart over these past few months. i had at first wondered which of these i should act upon, implement, do. it was at the end of the retreat, while sittingin yeep's car that it hit me. i m to do ALL those things God has told me to! it is an impossible amount. the impossibility of it IS the very reason why i m to do ALL instead of asking (n thus been rather hesitant n confused) which ones i m to do. cos it's gonna be a show of God's power n glory, and it is in this impoosibility that it'll be evident to me that it really isnt my doing. so yeah... hence the greater need for discipline n obedience, rest n prayer.

in my servant team recently, somehow the bringing up of the need and priority for prayer, has turned into a rather frustrating debate on prayer vs work, as if these 2 r mutually exclusive (remember your Sets? - maths lah) need i say here that it is NOT? another errant thinking is that prayer and work are two ends of a spectrum and that we need to find some sort of balance, a fulcrum so that life would work. sigh...

GOd reminded me (3X this week!) that i need to teach pp abt prayer! "when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do, for they think they will be heard for their many words." (Matt 6:8) but rather, "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven and you on earth; therefore let your words be few." (Ecc 5:2)

we had a time of "repentance". and while the SC sounded out the call, we began pouring forth words so well rehearsed on repenting and turning back to God. i began crying so uncontrollably. where is the attitude and posture of repentance? my heart broke.the irony was that the SC used the passage in 2 Kings where Hezekiah put on sackcloth and spoke about the right attitude... "rend your heart, not your garments! (Joel 2:13)

what then would repentance show? the bible shows many many egs of real as well as skin-deep repentance. if we were to really see God, i believe our response will not be unlike Isaiah who said, "woe is me, for i m undone! i m an unclean man, and i live amongst people of unclean lips!" (Is 6) why? cos we would see God in His holiness, His glory, n us in our unworthiness, our nothingness. we are nothing apart from God! yet today, our repentance is uttering glib prayers. oh, that we would be silent! do away with our many vexing and tiresome words that crowds out God's voice, n be still... to see and hear God. He wants to reveal Himself to us!

may we, like the disciples ask of Jesus, "Lord teach us how to pray..."