some1 challenged me on something dat i wanted n believed, yet my actions dun really reflect that.

i want people, on hearing a message that i deliver, say, "what a great God!" and not "what a good speaker!"
not technics, not theatrics, not training...
but power, but abiding, but presence of God. so it's about walking close to God.
not work on your tone, your eye contact, your powerpoint presentations etc. you work on knowing the word of God.

if u are running a spiritual race, you dont train in human methods.

i must watch what i put my focus on.

i must relearn to consider rubbish as rubbish.
philippians 3

will b working thru the weekends again. sat n sun retreat. last weekend was games dry run in NUS. next week will be "D" weekend b4 "D" camp! yikes! will have 2 pace myself properly. it s gonna b crazy.
i cant believe how much work i gotta do with more n more "mini" projects coming my way. but wat is amazing is dat i m feeling better abt it.... like a runner warming up to his race in the 5th, 6th km where he ups the tempo. ok steady now, evan...

run the race with perseverance, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of your faith.

i got my dream band for worship tmr! and we had such a fun time jamming today. they are so good! every single instrumentalist, backup vocalist! my dream band! haha.

God will U come and be enthroned in the praises of Your saints? come Lord, come.

Testify to Love - Avalon


Testify to Love - Wynona Judd in Touched by an angel (psalm 151)


oh i have to keep blogging vids! a Wynona judd's version of one of my fav songs! except the music is 1.something secs faster than the visual. sigh... this contains her testimony too.



blogged the mercy me i can only imagine MV b4 so i shant put it here again.

busy n stressed out right now. so if u r reading this, juz say a prayer for me ok? 

mon, i got a new baby! a white electric guit! n an accompanying blackie - an amplifier. at 1st i was worried abt my buy - that i should ve gotten d other way cheaper one blah blah... but wen i got home n looked at it again, those worries melted away. i made a right choice. a way better guit n amp. u noe, these things seem 2 have a personality, a soul, a life of it's own, n of course, its own voice. buying a guit is a very personal thingy. u gotta connect. n yesh, at home, connected we did. hee hee. it has a great feel, a good tremble sound to it.  N i look good with it! haha. so in everyway, we connected. juz hope i can play it to its best.

i had a guit connection gone wrong b4. yeep gave me an acoustic which was better than wat i had, but i juz didnt click with it. so didnt really pract or sound good on it. i kept going back to my own (d one i had blogged abt dec ago.) so i ve decided to return it to yeep, n rely on the blackie tin helped me buy fr thailand. i hope this blackie wont feel neglected by me tho. i ve been spending time with whitey so far!

m hoping to change the look of this blog for 4eva! but sorry somehow i m not getting to it yet. oh well... juz bear with it longer eh?

i ve been feelin rather scattered this whole week. like i m missing something hence cant function properly. juz cant engage my gears to go into overdrive. i need 2. lots of deadlines comin up. FOC prog, games write-ups, emails, IES OIC storyboard n ppt. 

ok. i noe wat i gotta do now. i d betta spend some time now doing QT. writing this so i d hold myself to it instead of launching back into work. yep. tata for now.

The way we talk about sin betrays our ignorance of the absolute devastation of the sin. - Paul Washer

The way we live our lives/do ministry betrays our ignorance of the God we profess to truly follow. 

i ran my 1st ever marathon! sundown marathon. a misnomer if u ask me. should b called sunrise cos we started off at 11.59pm on 31st may n effectively run till the sun's nearly up. or in my case, when the sun comes up!

was a gr8 run. b4 this i was concerned abt my health cos i had a bad bout of bronchitis which didnt clear for weeks. had residual stuff that worried me abt whether i was fit for the marathon. had a little heart attack scare which my dr put me thru ECG n x-ray. both results being normal, did away with the stress ECG test, n upped my meds. that did helped n he concluded dat he should ve done it earlier so i wouldnt have such a long drawn thingy with the lung infection. so yeah, by the time the run came along, i havent trained and was still a tad worried abt my heart. committed it to God and asked Him if i should run, n if i shouldnt, asked Him to juz stop my stupidity. anywayz, i had peace, n my health was fine. had a gr8 run. i was in pretty good shape. n surprisingly so since i hadnt trained.

then met my fren at ard 19k who said she couldnt go on.she busted her hips n knees said she was v v tired n couldnt go on. i stopped n walked with her. tot since the route was bringing us out of ECP to siglap, kembangan etc, i could walk her till she reaches the road to get a cab. then of course, encouraged her to go on. esp so after she said "hey u r supposed to scold me n tell me not to give up!" so yeah. we walked the rest of the 23k!

pp tell me it is very excruciating not training well to walk in a marathon. i fully agree! walking 23k was no joke! it took SOOOOOOO long! wat could be a 3 hr run become a 6-hour walk. 

PS grimaced in pain every step of the way. after the run we joked n laughed abt it n she said "oh no! u saw my ugly side!" i didnt. wat i saw was her strength. walking 23k, 6 hours in pain is no mean feat. she could ve quit. hailed a cab or took the bus (since we were v much along the roads after the 19k). i wouldnt n couldnt have tahan so long. 

aside fr dat, we had a gr8 time catching up. lots had happened since we last met (3 weeks ago) n tears ran down her cheeks as she recounted the various ridiculous incidents. we turned out walk into a prayer walk at tampines ave 10. then when we were at ave 9 the sky lit up with lightning. b4 long, it poured. we were soaked to the bone. took the opportunity to go to toilet at petrol station as we wait out the downpour. when we finally got out,the rain become a drizzle so we cont walking, our shoes n socks squeshing out water as we went along. 

of course i was in pain after the marathon. but surprisingly, i recovered faster than last dec when i ran half marathon. today d pain is gone. no knee or ligament prob. 

that's y i love to run long dist. reminds me dat life/ministry is not a sprint. it is not a 100m event. u need to last, to persevere, to pace yourself. the run lasts longer than an adrenaline rush. u go thru energy ebbs. fatigue sets in, doubt too. dont rain on my parade? well this time it did. i started running when i was in med min. when i was alone in min. then i realised i needed to learn how to go the distance for God, with pp. 

some lessons i learnt on this marathon:

1. heb 12:1-2. the theme for the camp i m organising. ECP was crowded with campers, teenage "ton-ers", cyclists, pp fishing... sometimes, pp come out fr their tents n shelters as we round close to them and they cheered and clapped. i was touched n reminded of "since we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses..." i wondered abt the true cloud of witnesses who are cheering us on as we run this christian race. dat this knowledge of being cheered on should encourage me 2 run on, 2 run well.i thought about the sin and hindrances. and of course, perseverance. Jesus, for the joy b4 Him endured the cross. i had thought the joy was the medal n the tee. but after getting them, i came 2 admit dat they were but shows of pride. they didnt thrill as much as the thought of getting them did. my true joy was not in them. it was in crossing e finishing line, knowing dat i did the whole distance and did it well. (well not in timing but in attitude and character) and despite me walking to it instead of sprinting to it in past races, the joy was far greater at this one than the rest.

2. a filippino stood by a cardboard as she looked out for her fren. the board blasted, "JO FULFILL YOUR DREAM!" Running a marathon b4 i m 30 is my dream n i was fulfilling it by a margin. but this is a small dream, a by-dream if there's one. i tot abt my dream. THE dream. i tot abt THE dream of those i love. i teared.

3. i rediscovered myself. i like myself again. it's been sometime actually. these past months God was doing a good work tearing "me" down. n now building me up. thru this run, i liked who i was, or maybe who i've become. i liked wat i valued and how i acted. i had thot dat i became this goal-oriented, results-focused person. but He showed me, no. He showed me i was less "self" than i tot. that i do love pp, the process, the journey. i like me! haha.