we are all born originals - why is it so many of us die copies? - Edward Young

you cant have the liver wanting to be and doing the work of the gall bladder.
in the body of Christ, if organisation loses sight of what's God's purpose for it, it begins to copy another. God has called each having its own distinctives. you cant have piracy in the kingdom of God. you'll miss fulfilling your call and you rob another of his. in God's kingdom, we are all complements, not competition. those who do not reap together scatters.

spore table tennis goes into finals FINALLY! was a very good match against the south koreans. feng tianwei saved the day
we ll have to wait till 17 aug for the finals. let s hope for a gold for spore. it s been a long wait. put spore on the medal tables darlings!

was a good off-n-lieu for me. rest, pack table. enjoyed my own company. still got lots. would ve been better if they werent burning the joss papers. had to close all the windows so it felt as if i was also playing a game cos i seemed to be perspiring more than li jai wei. haha.

still coughing. maybe i ll go buy more lozenges. the burning doesnt help. i m v v sensitive. sigh.

postponed my date with the dentist. maybe tmr?? still have phobia even tho i ve been working with them for so many years. it's the thing abt pain and the chair... scary stuff. haha.

can u believe that i actually get carsick when i travel in buses or cabs even if it is a short distance?!!

sitting in coffeebean
pondering about life
intermittently breaking into prayer,
half-dizzy half-brained
nearly desperate, nearly lost
almost recovering almost gone

*disclaimer* this is not a pathetic attempt at poetry. it's juz me typing what is my state right now.

i think i m a proud and arrogant person. sigh...
i m disappointed at my proud arrogant thoughts, attitudes, actions.
how difficult it is to love and to be kind, to extend grace, to be patient.
O Lord, how hard it is to humble oneself. Help me Lord.
what's more difficult is how not to exalt oneself but to remain contrite. Help me Lord.
what a wretched person i m.



so many people are asking me whether You have spoken to me about a career change. like some cyclical thing, i get bugged by numerous job offers and people asking me have i heard from God, has He asked me to move on, what are my plans, how long will i stay in...etc. well, here's my public statement: i havent heard from God about any change in ministry/work. if you think you've heard on my behalf, please do let me know.

We have a God who delights in impossibilities." by Billy Sunday.

quick recap of days passed: (notes for self)

felt "they put burdens on people they themselves refuse to help lift". so wanted 2 quit (24 july)
next day felt uplifted by God. and renewed strength 2 do all the impossible tasks (25 july)
felt next time give a better answer to "how r u doing?" rather than "will be better" or "good" etc. eg"i am finding hard to find rest or keep my sabbath." put into words the struggle of my heart as much as possible. to help yourself and others. (KH asks)
if its ur project/idea, see thru it yourself. dun allow it 2 b sub out. (OIC vids)
lost voice for 4 days. couldnt do OIC presentation, couldnt lead worship today. now coughing like crazy.
the same day i lost my voice, i also fell down n sprained my ankle.
lesson learnt -
God ll vindicate. do your job. if it's not but heaped onto you, watch. God ll vindicate.
my immobility brought new insights into how i could ve caused my own needless energy loss n lack of rest.
i dun think much n juz do if i can do. but my sprained ankle caused me to consider the necessity of a particular action. n hence there's alot i decided not to do. if i was mobile, i wouldnt even have sat myself down to think. then perhaps there's much more on my plate that i dont need 2 do. hmmm...

now starting a brand new week. gave up BSF. or rather finally got kicked out. 3 consec weeks of absence.

focus.