Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Jesus, Shakespeare and Love

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
(Shakepeare Sonnet 116)


Love sought is good, but given unsought better.(Shakepeare, Twelfth Night, 3.1.156)

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (i Jn 4:10)

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (I John 3:1)

while Man talk eloquently about love, make extravagrant declarations of love, write about the compelling emotion...

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. (1 Jn 3:16)

God is love. (1 Jn 4:16)

musings on life partner

haha...!
sent a filippino doc friend off at the airport today and she told me to get married by today next year!
she's a friend i love dearly. (or WAS a friend i loveD dearly!?!?!) we meet about once yearly when either she comes over or i go over to the Philippines on work trips.
at terminal 2 this early morning, she ganged up with her other friend to 'pressure' me...

wat a pity... i dun feel the heat that easily... especially since today was such a wet and cold morning and the airport was such a freezer. =p

well, i guess i'm amused by the legions of pp anxious to see me tie the knot!! the number of pp pledging to pray for my life partner has hit a record high this 2nd quarter of 2005.

*nb: to join this ever-growing interest group (hahahahahaha!!!), mail me and i'll give you my specs and requests and juicy updates! (hahahahahaha!!!)*

here are some FAQs:
Have you been praying for a life partner?
yes. ( u have any idea how many pp will scold me if i say no?! haha)

What kind of person are you looking for?
well, in a nutshell,
1. a guy (hey, the world is a messy place!! u cant take this for granted)
2. love God more than me (can be read as 1.loves God more than he loves me, 2. love God more than i love God - so that i'll be inspired to grow in loving God more. though this is rather hard to qualify)
3. directed (has a clear vision and goals, and knows what he wants and is working towards it) and in the same direction (cant be heading different ways can we?)
4. ...
5. ...
6. ...
(hey, if i keep typing, it wont be "in a nutshell" right?)
basically someone whom i can live out God's call in my life with ( i can go to where God wants me to go to and serve with).

Do you want to have kids?
Do you mind guys of different nationality and race?
Does age matter?
Can i introduce guys to you?
Y r u so closed up? ( u gotta b more open... y say no? blah blah... n the chiding goes on... *mind u these r not "old pp". young folks have exhibited a high tendency to nag n be nosey as well! hahaha!)

well, wanna know the answers to these and other questions, refer to nb above.

but i'll juz answer one more qn: Y non-Christians cannot?
2 Corinthians 6:14 - Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
and ref to no.3

enough said. i dunno... i'm not as eager to find Mr Right as i m in making sure i'm Ms Right.

The Right guy at the wrong time is the wrong guy.
n, m i the right gal for the right guy at this time?

so... in ending, i'll quote the famous ad's tagline - what time is it?

time to get back to work!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

meeting the president

will be attending the President's high tea receiption...



work...ministry...
there's so much to do... so little time...!!!
"To know the will of God is the greatest knowledge.
To do the will of God is the greatest labour.
To know what you do pleases God is the greatest pleasure."
(auothr unknown)



Dr Lyman Steil, an authority on listening, said that a person’s ability to listen ranges from 400 to 600 words a minute, while the average speaking rate is about 100 to 110 words per minute. (The Straits Times, The Recruit May 7 2005)
That means there’s a lot of space for mental activity, as you are using only a fraction of your capacity to listen.
hence you have 2 options:
Use your surplus capacity to deepen your comprehension of the message being conveyed, or you can think about what you are going to do next, where you'll prefer to be, how you are going to settle other problems...

“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” – Jim Elliot (taken fr Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Eilliot)

that's a gr8 challenge... being ADD!!! =p need to discipline my mind.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Especially dedicated to my wonderful SIS!

Happy Birthday, sis!!

you are the best sister one could have!
despite our different 'functioning hours', different sleeping and eating habits, different perspectives, different temperaments, different communicating and leadership styles, different quirks and eccentricities, idiosyncrasies.... despite the times we tear at each other's throats, scream and fight...
I LOVE YOU!!

you are talented and gifted. You have a gr8 personality. solid FAITH, real hunger and love for our Lord. faithful and meek. you are PRETTY! God really put you in my life to sharpen and mold me, to point out the areas i refuse to see, to hold up the mirror to me.

I M PROUD...
to be your sis (haha... it's ok if the feeling's not mutual... too bad!!! *evil, shrill laugh*)
to so totally lose out to you in our fights
to be so totally proven wrong and erroneous in some (i'm insisting - SOME!) of my ways
to be corrected by you (you do it so "face savingly")
to have sent you on your first ever flight through the air (one of my gr8est triumph... though i really freaked out when u flew!)
to have journeyed with you all these years (and will do so for the rest of my life)

i can go on... but this is NOT an open letter... so sis, you shall read the rest in my hand written letter to you (haha... torturous task trying to decipher my handwriting!), and the rest of you, just KNOW that my sis is best!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Hazardous work

Any work done faithfully and well is difficult. it is no harder for me to do my job well than for any other person. There are no easy tasks in the Christian way; there are only tasks that can be done faithfully or erratically, with joy or with resentment. And there is no room for any of us, ... to speak in tones of self-pity of the terrible burdens of our work.

what is hazardous in my life is my work as a Christian. Everyday i put faith on the line. i have never seen God. In a world where nearly everything can be weighed, explained, quantified, subjected to psychological analysis and scientific control, i persist in making the center of my life a God whom no eye hath seen, nor ear heard, whose will no one can probe. That's a risk.

Everyday i put hope on the line. i don't know one thing about the future. i don't know what the next hour wil hold. There may be sickness, accident, personal or world catastrophe... Despite my ignorance.... i say that God will accomplish His will, and i cheerfully persist in living in the hope that nothing will separate me from Christ's love.

Everyday i put love on the line. There is nothing i am less good at than love. i am far better in competition than in love. i am far better at responding to my instincts and ambitions to get ahead and make my mark than i am at figuring out how to love another. i am schooled and trained in acquisitive skills, in getting my own way. and yet i decide, every day, to set aside what i can do best and attempt what i do very clumsily - open myself to the frustrations and failures of loving, daring to believe that failing in love is better than succeeding in pride.

- p 76 A long obedience in the same direction (Eugene Peterson)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

more on coach carter

in the movie "Coach Carter", one of the team dropout (Cruz) wants to come back on the team. Coach Ken Carter gave Cruz the impossible (of which he himself admits) - to do 1000 push-ups and 500 'Suicides' by fri (the amount done by the team all this while he was gone, i suspect). not surprisingly, Cruz, despite his admirable efforts failed to meet the criteria. Coach Carter looked at Cruz and with coldness of tone and expression dismissed him with saying "you did well, but not enough."
as Cruz walks despairingly out of the gym, one of the players said, "You said we are a team right? i'll do the 500 push-ups for him."
another, spurred on by the first, said, "i'll do the push-ups too, and some suicides."
one after another pitched in.

after the progress reports had come in, Coach Carter found 6 of his players missing the mark (a 2.3 average as agreed upon in their 'contracts'), stopped all basketball practices and matches and made all the students study in the library till the weak ones caught up in their studies. (he benched the whole team despite 2 or more had above 3 point grade average).
he told them as they met in the library, "You, no, we failed."

what a great 'body concept'.
1 Cor 12 puts it like this:
12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.


in teh face of strong opposition towards his instituting the 2.3 point average, Carter insisted they were "Student athletes" - 'student' comes first.

are we christians who are students, counsellors, teachers, auditors, bankers, doctors etc or students, counsellors, teachers, auditors, bankers, doctors etc who are christians? qhich comes first? alot of times, we get it mixed up. very much like the parents, teachers and even the students themselves in the said movie. (in chinese there's a saying ' ben3 mo4 dao3 zhi4 - 'putting the cart before a horse')

We can, continue in that mixed up and live rather happily as would those in the movie if coach carter would let them be - athletes instead of insisting they study, get a 2.3 average, cut no classes and sit in the front row of every class. their principal, in dialogue with Coach Carter, said, "this (basketball season) could be the highlight of their lives!" and in reply, Carter agreed, "that's what i am afraid it will be". if they would live like that, they would, indeed, let the short basketball season be the highlight of their lives. we would too be like 'a falsh in the pan' if we live getting our priorities and choices mixed up.

Coach Carter wanted his players to live for more; to live for what they are capable of - a misinterpreted motive by all those in the community.

Col 1: 10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God...

Coach, Jacket, n sis...

watched "Coach Carter" and "The Jacket" today.
e first is about believing in the potential of others and going against the odds fight for what you believe in (even though people around them, even they themselves , don't believe in them).
the movie's 'philosophy' was delivered by an unlikely character who, in a sudden burst of inspiration, answered Coach Carter's question - "what is your greatest fear?"
here's the paraphrase of what he said, as according to the fragmented remnants of my memory:
It was not to be proven inadequate, but to find that i am powerful... That i can shine; and in shining, liberate others and give them the permission to shine.
actually it's alot longer. but much of the verbiage is lost in the audience's "wah..." (at awe at the 'chim-ology' *singlish* of a supposedly academically-challenged delinquent.

the second (won a pair of passes from Power98), is a psycho thriller, not in the least scary, though it is under the genre of 'horror' and the movie poster shows the protagonist with illuminated eyes. enjoyed it tremendously. the male lead is "The Pianist" guy.

watched it with my sis. did i tell you how nice my sis is??
she is the kind of person who will go the extra mile just to help someone whom she doesn't even know (she counts it as doing a friend a favour!) for example taking the pains to get her lecturer's permission to take her quiz at a later time so that she can be a exam model for a hairdressing student. She even contemplated taking a cab so that she can make it back to NTU in time. i was asking why even bother? she could just say no and save her time, money and energy for her quiz. her answer was simple - do it for a friend lor. she travelled all the way down from NTU juz to company me for the movie though she was tired. she goes to church with my mom way early on sun morns to help her with the setup for service while i m too lazy to get out of bed.
she is very very nice...

when i was in sec 2, my literature teacher who is from England, was frustrated about his students' pathetically limited vocabulary and overusage of "nice". He told us that the adjective is only good for describing food...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Eulogy

funny how we get to know a person better after he/she passes on?

i attend wakes and funerals, and usually come away from these sombre events somehow knowing the deceased better and wishing that the knowledge had come when he/she was still alive.

we, as a nation, mourn the passing of our ex-president. As a kid, I knew him as the friendly waving figure on TV during national day parades. i liked him. now, after many reports of him in the media in honour of him, i think i got to know him better. and i like him better.

The same goes for the late Pope, Princess Diana, Mother Theresa, my grandfathers...

Funny how reflective and ponderous people become when we are reminded of our imminent fate. no matter if it's the 'commoner's grave', state cemetery or honoured in Yasukuni (where Jap national heroes lay.), one's still... dead.

what do those who are left behind say?

from The Book of Eulogies (1997) by Phyllis Theroux, here are some excerpts:

US President ABRAHAM LINCOLN (1809 - 1865) by the freed black slave Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895)
"He did not hesitate, he did not falter... he calmly and bravely heard all the voices of doubt and fear all around him, but he had an oath in heaven, and there was not enough power on the earth to make this honest boatman, backwoodsman and broad-handed splitter of rails evade or violate that sacred oath."

Huckleberry Finn author MARK TWAIN (1835 - 1910) by the blind, deaf and dumb scholar Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)
"He never embarrased me by saying how terrible it is not to see, or how dull life must be, lived always in the dark...
He would often say: 'Helen, the world is full of unseeing eyes, vacant, staring, soulless eyes.'
He never made me feel that my opinions were worthless, as so many people do... He kept me always in mind while he talked, and he treated me like a competent human being. that is why i loved him."

Saturday, May 07, 2005

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost


My favourite poem.
the choices we made that took us where we are now...
the choices we make that take us where we are going
the choices we will make that will take us where we will arrive.

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide us the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the fate and narrow the road that leaders to life and only a few find it. - Matthew 7:13, 14

what is your choice? which road?
the road less travelled?
the road narrow?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 days ago, i was going to SBC for a seminar. that was the first time i was going to SBC. hence i was kinda clueless travelling. after crossing a junction, i was faced with 2 choices: 1. walk along the pavement that follows the road, or 2. turn away from the road and take a path that leads up.

my view of the 2 choices was obsured by trees and the bend in the road. my friend and i chose the latter, causing us to end up in private estate. we chose to continue to find out if it could lead us to SBC. we walked on and on... in the hot morning sun! even when we saw SBC down the 'hill' from us, and there was no through road from where we were to it, we continued hoping our path will take us down to our desired destination. we figured since we were still early, we could afford to walk on along the path and find out if it can bring us there instead of having to backtrack.

after more than 20 minutes on that path did we realise that it was leading us further up when SBC was down there... along the main road. we had to then painfully trace our steps over the unnneeded distance we took after sighting our end point.

we were late. the renown speaker had already started. we stumbled into the back row hot, sticky and bothered. i learnt about repentance that morning; not a part of the seminar's objective though.

we chose the slightly more 'exciting' route to us, over the safe and more logical one (since SBC is a school and how obsure can it be?!).
we chose to continue in our error trying our luck to see if we could still reach our destination on our alternative path.
we chose to postpone turning back (repentance is 180 degrees about turn from the worng direction you are heading) even when we saw our destination down there while we were 'up' here.

not all roads lead to rome.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

why evan essence?

Evan essence is
1. essence of evan (?!) - take away the outer trappings and facade, what i am about.
2. evanescence

evanescence
ev·a·nesce
intr.v. ev·a·nesced, ev·a·nesc·ing, ev·a·nesc·es
To dissipate or disappear like vapor


"Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. " - James 4:14

"Man is like a mere breath;
His days are like a passing shadow. " - Psalm 144:4