lost my hp today!!!! sigh...

leaving tmr early morn... pls pray for me n team... pray for me to have wisdom and love to lead and disciple those in the team and the discernment to know GOd's will in the situations we will be facing. pray for protection against spiritual warfare. it is pretty shiong so far.

went to watch Phantom of the Opera today! finally!!! wen in sec most of my friends went, i didnt have money to... it's been more than 10 years! so glad dat my DG gals n i went for it... got a really good deal (cheap tics) n great seats too!

was ok lah.. good experience... but was thinking dat it really is expensive! wil think twice abt blowing more than 100 bucks in an afternoon like dat. hmm...

leaving for mission trip soon...! last team meet tmr... lots to settle. God grant us wisdom to prep effectively...

m so thankful to YimL for helping me get the advance fr HQ and coming to my house to pass me instead of me going all the way down. save me lots of energy which i m lacking now... still leaking from my arse actually... (haha... sorry if my crudeness gross u out.!) thanks liebe again for helping me collect cheque from prof

this is wat u do wen u r weak n trying to work but cant get started... so yeah.. doing this n clearing email n doing up the mission trip prayer calendar at the same time.

stumbled on this amazin gal- Bianca Ryan! such passion, soul in the singing! n wata voice! u wouldnt believe she's juz 11 years old!



Bianca Ryan did win the competition! watch the finals

check out wikipedia

bianca ryan's official website

the only puzzlement is dat she did the cover of "I believe i can fly". while i do agree that it is inspirational... i think only delusional people sing "i believe i can fly, i believe i can touch the sky, i think abt it night n day, SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY AWAY..." n i think only the wright brothers can lay claim to this song rightfully... but then again..if i were alive during their time, i very well might've thot them nuts too...
hmm... think i m too cynical for my good... ok.. change time.

no prizes for guessing who i love best in AI this season! this gal - Jordin Sparks! wat a star name! lol. disclaimer: i havent really been watching much! but watever snippets i did catch, i love dis gal and 2 other ladies - Melinda Dolittle and Lakisha Jones. humble, broken gals.



seriously, we respect Simon Cowell cos of his sharp, targetted comments... i think he is someone who not juz knows the business, but also one who knows himself! (got a v heightened sense of self, which i havent seen in someone who is not a monk, a nun, a watever... someone "secular" if i put it dat way.

today on MC... fell really sick after taking frieda's meds. beware of TCM's detoxing properties! while western meds target the ailments n symptoms, TCM aims at improving the syst (a more long term view). so kinda like western meds plugs up the hole in the wall tp stop water from coming in with a a stopper, TCM repairs the wall and cement closes the gap. more work, takes longer time... but yields better long term results.

slept at 11 last night cos was totally beat from the pain and discomfort adn diarrhoea-ing all night, woke up, went n shit at 4am, slept woke up at 7am went to shit n it hurt like crazy, wen to sleep to wait for dr to open clinic at 830.. but only woke up at 1030, went see dr, got MC, slept till 330pm!
so yeah while today was supposedly a busy day, i felt being hauled over at a pit stop and denied further "cheong-ing". well, God knew better i needed such a rest.
thanks to liebe for getting the cheque fr prof. and i ve to go down now to HQ to settle money matters b4 i leave for mission trip!

the following blog entry is rated R(A). pls do not read if u r below 21.

A stabs B relentlessly and says tenderly to B as B's life hangs on a threat, "choose to live, to hope... dun die, dun give up..."
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now now... own up wif u r below 21!


was really exhausted. emotionally drained. imagine wif me... me seeing my heart in my hands still thumping away as my very life ebbs... n wondering why it is still going strong wen it should have ceased beating... n waiting for the iminent moment where i drop dead onto the ground.

haha... sorry all blood n gore. juz to think i had wanted to catch hannibal rising this week! think i no need liao... i'm gross enuf.

last night n this am felt dat i m "not enough". there's some impossible standard i needed to measure up to... n on top of dat, i ve impossible amt of work to do... n it compounded my feeling of me being not enough to do it... all lies, lies lies.

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Cor 3:4-6

m grateful i managed to get a number of stuff done today despite me feeling i'm in pieces, trying to hold up and not fall apart. the turning pt was tonight's swim. managed to do more than 30 laps. felt good after dat. n after dat came home to find mum had cooked my fave veg n nice pork, chicken n soup.

i can see how it's turning ard. need time... need time for myself... need time for myself with God...

s'pore biathlon!!!
went to support my bro.
man... was at 1st worried i would miss him cos everyone emerging from the sea looked alike. but then when he did come out i immediately knew it was him. muahaha. yep afterall, i knew him all his life! didnt manage to get good pics of him tho... i stupidly didnt noe how to turn on the multi-shot function.. if not will be pretty cool to catch him like 10x a sec. was dehydrated. had headache. nose totally blocked. sneezed n coughed etc etc. u noe the works la. sigh..

was thinking i'd like to try it 2 years fr now. if i ever get over the swimming in sea part that is. bro was encouraging. but i reminded him it took me 13 years to get over my phobia...

juz watched this darn long film... nearly 3 hours! director's cut.. so now wondering wat didnt the movie-goers see.
anyway here's the write-up on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfgang_Amadeus_Mozart

Amadeus (1984)
Milos Forman’s 1984 motion picture Amadeus, based on the play by Peter Shaffer (itself based on the poetic short drama "Mozart and Salieri" by the Russian writer Alexander Pushkin), won eight Academy Awards and was one of the year’s most popular films. While the film did a great deal to popularize Mozart’s work with the general public, it has been criticized for its historical inaccuracies, and in particular for its portrayal of Antonio Salieri’s intrigues against Mozart, for which little historical evidence can be found. On the contrary, it is likely that Mozart and Salieri regarded each other as friends and colleagues: it is well documented, for instance, that Salieri frequently lent Mozart musical scores from the court library, that he often chose compositions by Mozart for performance at state occasions, and Salieri taught Mozart's son, Franz Xaver.
The idea that he never revised his compositions, dramatized in the film, is easily exploded by even a cursory examination of the autograph manuscripts, which contain many corrections. Mozart was a studiously hard worker, and by his own admission his extensive knowledge and keen abilities developed out of many years of close study of the European musical tradition. In fairness, Schaffer and Forman never claimed that Amadeus was intended to be an accurate biographical portrait of Mozart. Rather, as Shaffer reveals on the DVD release of the film, the dramatic narrative was inspired by the biblical story of Cain and Abel – one brother loved by God, and the other scorned.

went for a swim in afternoon. felt so so good after dat. 1st swim of 2007!

evening went street E with mission trip team. was a really good time. i managed to share with a M'sian, a chinese national, a p5 kid. 3 out of 13 people we shared the full gospel with received Christ!

but felt really sick str after dat. nose n throat felt pretty irritated. all clogged up and kept coughing. feel so terrible!
i claim healing. shall rest early.

music and lyrics (movie)

watched MUSIC AND LYRICS today with MZ. so glad she chose dis cos i wouldnt have chosen it in a million years. agreed cos i couldnt say no to her. n thankfully, i thoroughly enjoyed it! we admitted it exceeded our expectations... n she is gonna bring her bf to watch it again!
dis show had me laughing right fr the beginning with Hugh Grant in the 80s-styled MV.. imagine the hair, clothes n dance moves. i was so tickled. the movie was really really great. was pleasantly surprised dat the characters had depth, the story had plot n it's not all mush n goo, not the usual romance flick. n with a sense of humour too! v nice...
i love the soundtrack! i dun usually get OSTs... shall make an exception for this one. hugh grant n drew barrymore can sing. m impressed dat hugh grant could play the piano, bass, guit. but he is indeed getting old... he did look the part of a 80s has-been!
anyway... was so moved by the songs i even cried! was still smiling long after the show ended. yes i think it is this good... go ahead, disagree. *smiles dreamily*

thoughts and quotes from sermons, talks etc on saturday n sunday:

sermon from CHC (Sy Rogers):
those who do not know the past are bound to repeat it
-George santayana

Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward. - Soren Kierkegaard
(look back and see how God has led you, make a memorial unto Him. let that remind and lead u to live on with the assurance of who He is, how He will continue to lead)

the whole economy depends on your dissatisfaction! - Sy Rogers

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. - Oscar Wilde

God is bigger than your struggle, your problem, your needs. Go to Him
feed off Him.

meanings of names 10 generations from Adam:
Man (Adam)
appointed/granted (Seth Gen 4:25)
mortal (Enosh)
sorrow (Kenan)
the blessed God (Mahalalel)
came down (Jared)
teaching (Enoch)
His death shall bring (Methuselah)
the despairing (Lamech)
comfort & rest (Noah Gen 5:29)

read it tog... get the mind-blowing meaning? Names have meaning beyond juz identifying a person! God has used 10 generations to map out His sovereign plan!

sermon fr ASE:
1 Cor 10:1-13

1. danger of complacency (v1-5) 5 blessings Israel received yet they committed...
2. consequences of self indulgence (v6-12) 5 grievous sins
3. call n incentive to cling to God continually (v13)

i looked at P D n i... n how we really have grown in our capacity to preach n lead worship... we served only thru God's enabling, not our own doing! we arent anything... was reminded dat "neither he who plants nor he who sows is anything but only God..." 1 Cor 3:7 n i m amazed n humbled just thinking of of it...!

i saw bro P praying as i pract 4 worship b4 d service n realised yet again dat prayer is the backbone of ministry. the changes i ve seen in church is brought abt wen pp are willing to intercede, to plead unto God... i went up to bro P after service to tell him wat i felt as i saw him pray, to encourage him to continue n we shared wat God has impressed unpon our hearts to claim from Him. bro P said God told him 'we have not because we ask not' (Js 4:2) n i shared how God spoke to me abt the 'greater things' n 'He will do whatever i ask in His name' (Jn 14:12-14) hence how God burdened us to ask Him re church. it really is incredible. wat an encouragement to keep on praying. thankfulness welled up in our hearts just knowing that our God wants to give, neither he nor i (or anyone else for dat matter) who prays is anything but God who answers prayers, God who causes the growth is to be praised n glorified.

lessons from AAA talk:
to be financially free, you need to work on your passive income.

many people buy things they do not need with money they do not have to impress people who do not care.

to know the value of one year, ask the student who failed a grade
to know the value of one month, ask the mother who gave birth to a premature baby
to know the value of one hour, ask lovers waiting to meet
to know the value of one minute, ask the person who missed the train
to know the value of one second, ask the person who escaped an accident
to know the value of one millisecond, ask the olympics silver medalist
time is precious!

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

this entry is inspired by me stumbling onto the OST of Daisy after Liebe showing me Rapustin on utube...

i dun watch or follow korean or jap dramas. actually i only watch sit-coms or med-related TV shows nowadays. cos i have commitment issues wif TV serials. haha. but seriously n rather surprisingly korean stuff has pretty much managed to grab my heart.

it started with Summer Scent... saw a few episodes of it on TV cos frenz were telling me abt it cos it was abt this gal who had heart transplant from a gal named Enhui (now u noe why my frenz were telling me abt it!) so of course enhui had died. n dis movie is abt the gal, after getting enhui's heart basically lived out enhui's life by falling for Enhui's boyfriend n taking on alot of Enhui's personality! the conflict was Enhui's boyfriend who struggling to get over Enhui n falling with this girl. (classic eg of "my heart will go on"-celine dion style... lol)

the next was a free tic to the movie DAISY, a very beautiful movie filmed in Netherlands n directed by Infernal Affairs director, Andrew Lau. it was then dat i really fell in love with korean movies n the language. so much so dat i actually wanted to learn the lang!

next was a chance encounter. happened to see dat Ch U was showing a movie by the shuai guy who acted in DAISY so i watched it. turned out to be A Moment to Remember, a show i'll never forget too! lol... incidentally it's abt a gal kena-ing Alzheimer's at 27! n forgetting everything... including the man she loved n who in turn love her so dearly. man i cried my eyes out n continued crying LONG after the show! so yeah... i wanna watch it at least 2x more! (once wif priya n another wif L)

n these r my fav korean stars:
Son Ye-jin (January 11, 1982) she has smiling eyes... captivating. (summer scent n a moment to remember)
Jung Woo-sung (March 20, 1973) too shuai to be true! unkempt, unshaven, deep voice n a dark side... haha... (daisy & a moment to remember)

i juz typed on msn to a fren saying i m a lazy in blogging n journalling... i could do better in writing better as well as writing more sustantially so dat i wont be so lost wen i re-read my entries...

here's part of an entry i borrowed (with permission) from JoW:
...friendships are meant to GROW, just as the individuals grow. And it's not a matter of friends growing USED to each other, but growing in PASSION, love, commitment, DEVOTION and union with each other. But all too often, hearts grow jaded by time... almost like the touching of hearts grows calluses on them or something... or else, there's a misunderstanding, or a hurt that never heals. And it's not that the wound can't be healed, but I suppose one major factor hindering it is that people just end up subscribing to the belief that it's just impossible for the friendship to return to where it was (much less progress). So they permanently close the door on far more marvellous possibilities in the friendship, even if the friendship continues and is not totally cut off.

I've always believed that if I'm determined and the other side is always open, if not daring enough to believe - no matter how tentatively - that there's always a way to resolve conflicts completely, then no matter how deep the inevitable hurts, that friendship will always stay passionate, ideal and even progress from there.

Reading the books of Kings, it just amazed me how much we've hurt God... if I were in His shoes, I'd be so deeply hurt by now that the wound would have really been impossible to heal and the damage permanent. And He's been SO SO SO disappointed by us... deeply so. And having experienced such tiredness (mine was trivial ultimately, but it was intense while it lasted) over a relatively small thing, it just blows my mind how deeply we've hurt and wearied God.

And YET, look where we are now... despite ignoring God and making Him jealous so much, we experience more intimacy with Him now than even the best kings, David, Hezekiah and Josiah, did. And He just keeps on promising and promising... that He'll never leave us nor forsake us, that all He has is ours... that He delights in us and loves us so passionately... If anything, our relationship with Him should be one of hate at worst... non-existent or estranged at best. YET, it's the most ideal relationship EVER, all because one party - God - chose to keep it so and just kept offering and offering and pursuing and pursuing... relentlessly... just kept loving.

nice...

it's sombering to realise that after all this time... i m none the wiser.
that i still dun understand, that i love so imperfectly, so pathetically. that love juz aint enuf. humanly speaking dat is.


'Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough' by Patty Smyth, featuring Don Henley
song during my sec sch dayz

yep the greatest lesson you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.
the greatest blessing, the greatest joy, the greatest anguish, the greatest purpose.

for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son...
agapao...

"the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmond Burke, 18th century British Member of Parliament.
(got this fr this morning's opening quote of Coverage '08 Presentation)
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"the greatest thing u'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return."
- moulin rouge
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wanted to blog abt the earlier quote sometime earlier n it's a little tragic that i've finally gotten to put it down on my blog now n dat i've picked up from my last blog entry in a mood like this. typed out n deleted many sentences n phrases, things dat r going on inside but decided to settle for a simple one-liner - cheers to a wash-out afternoon!
(but then for my sake. so dat i wont be left scratching my head wen i do return to this entry sometime down the road... this is after M2 CA. planned to prep msg in the afternoon... wasted loads of time on smthg... juz woke up after a much needed, but longer than expected nap to blog this b4 going 4 youth leaders' prayer meeting)
how to make good decisisions? one going for a talk tmr at SMU would probably expect to learn dat fr the speaker. might be in the running for "biggest joke of the year".

sorry. stay tuned. i promise next post'll be better.

smiles.

i dunno... i feel very antisocial...
i tihnk i m getting more anitsocial as i age! i dun feel like to talking to any1. can u believe it? someone as talkative as me juz typed dat?
really... i tihnk by the time sunday comes ard, i really dun feel like talking anymore... i'd prefer to juz kip quiet n mmob (mind my own business). in times like this i surprise myself... cos i m supposedly very people-person... sigh... ok... dat s it for now... i dun even feel like talking to you thru blog now... haha... sorry... later perhaps?

blogged dat last night cos was reminded by the Holy Spirit to slow down... i need not be running on low fuel, or ahead before getting my 'instructions' from God... God has only given me 24 hours a day. hence it is impossible that the things He has ordained for me to do need more than 24 hours a day. so yeah... i'm taking bigger breaths n slowing down... n reminding myself dun sweat the small stuff.

some stuff i ve learn from my reading of
A) David Swan's books (on worship - entering into His presence, prophetic worship n intercession etc) :
- if you want to know God, and experience greater anointing, power etc, you must LINGER LONGER in His presence.
- there are "Outer Court Christians" who contend to worship from afar, who are believers but do not want to be "followers/disciples". let us not be found among that number!

listening and being very blessed by Ross Parsley's old album "Around Your throne". in that album are 2 recordings of prayers that i feel are so anointed. really need to pray with such hunger and authority, such earnestness and power.

felt God leading n teaching me to move more into that as i lead in worship. time for intercessory worship...

reading personal bible study methods by rick warren (4 work assignment to develop a training curriculum). here's some interesting snippets:
- on a typical evening, an average Christian may sit and watch TV for 3 hours, but only read his Bible for 3 minutes b4 bedtime. is it any wonder many lack spiritual maturity?
- we live in a society which prefers to have other people do our thinking for us. we want to relax and be entertained, without having to think or exert any effort.
- Bible study has no short cuts.
- One day i was asked, "what is the best translation?"
(He was of course refering to the best Bible version.)
i answered, "The best translation is when you translate the Word of God into your daily life."
He said, "but i've got my Living Bible."
(He still didnt get the picture.)
i replied, "You ought to be the living bible!" the Word made Flesh ought to be visible in your life."

juz read this in my mailbox..

An interesting reflection : Slow Down Culture

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think?" Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.