ok ok. i admit. i have become rather lazy about blogging these days. there s so much going on in my life right now n i should tell you about it... but i m juz too preoccupied with 2 thing: getting myself sort out and getting my work done. haha. 

let me type out some stuff to placate you guys:

i m sick. from the staff summit in M'sia. the same bug that plagues me is the same one that has gotten alot of my colleagues down. such a sharing community eh? presenting complaints: sore throat, stuffy noses, fever. 

im reduced to much coughing and unclogging the green phlegm from my system. not much voice to sing/shout with. i ve just handed in my medical costs for insurance claim. i love travel insurance!

actually hitched a ride from a lorry driver (who is God-sent) to the bus stop after a long n tiring run. he kindly offered since he saw us (note: i wasnt alone. i wouldnt dare get onto the lorry if i was alone!) walking n there's no bus/taxi at the stretch of road and he u-turned back to wherever he was going to after dropping us. dat, my friend, was a very cool, way better answer to my prayers for a taxi. 

my bro had his birthday. i m proud of my bro (and sis!) for the persons they have grown up to become - God-seeking, God-pursuing people! 

my good old friend had her birthday on the day her sister threw her wedding banquet (or rather it's the other way round) and i sat at the table with her relatives and maids. i realised we had been good friends for so long that her parents and siblings (and even maids!) dare to ask me what only relatives are entitled to. and i ve begun to know her distant relatives too! sigh. 

i cant wait for stand chart this year! so looking forward to it. so glad next day is a pub hol for me 2 rest sore muscles!

now, the heart stuff:

i've come to reckon with myself in a deeper level. I thank God for tutoring me and leading me to know Him and myself alot better these past weeks. 

i've learnt more about the Father heart of God, been assured of my standing, been overwhelmed by His love.

I've learnt that i m a "blanket optimist", not unlike the ostrich who puts its head into the sand and says to itself, "all will be well." and that has caused me so much dissonance. i cannot truly rest in the sovereignty of God without examining my thoughts, emotions and aligning them to the truth. 

i've learnt that i still go about life wondering "when the other shoe will drop" or when the good things will come to an end. 

and i've been called to rest assured in a loving, unwavering relationship

thank You God!