Saturday, October 20, 2007

sorry i havent blogged for a week!
been too lazy, n busy.

how m i?
could be better.
felt dat my brain cannot think! sigh... need to go sharpen my brain... perhaps chill it or something. there's too much min stuff that needs sharp thinking n i felt i wasnt up to it this week.

wat is a wise person?
i think after fumbling for an answer on tues, and hearing the speaker (YK) during LM, i think a wise person is someone who takes God at His word.

last sun was v interesting. after blogging abt not feeling anxious n wondering if i should start getting anxious. it things didnt change. i spent the whole afternoon waiting, then prep as best as i could then prepared to go out for dinner with art gals. it was when i was walking from my room to the bathroom that i got INSPIRATION! that i got my message. i felt the message being deposited into my heart, that i needed to address this, this n that, n so on. but i didnt have time to put it on paper or on my comp cos i needed to go out. grabbed a piece of paper so i could scribble message on. on the trained i called my bro to help me buy some art paper think A2, A1 size. he wasnt planning to step out of the house, but he went anyway despite initial reluctance. n after getting something not wat i wanted, n i kinda begged him to go back to get the colour i wanted, he went down again. n 4 3x too. m touched. by the time i reached home, i was v tired. n felt i couldnt really put what i needed onto the ppt. felt i couldnt press on even tho most times i would have stayed up n pia it thru. decided to go sleep 1st n then wake up ard 3 to do it esp since i still wasnt gan cheong at all. then in toilet, it occurred to me that i should ask God if He wants me to sleep or to press on. n if He wanted me to press on He needed to give me energy cos i was really WAY tired. after coming out of the toilet, i felt totally refreshed n energised. then i plopped myself at my comp n worked on. [if i m messenger, then i need to ask my Boss if i m done working or work on, n get strength fr Him to work on] was a simpler message n yet i felt i spoke wat i needed. it came right up to the time i m given. no more, no less. amazing.

God really grew me thru these weeks in learning my role as His messenger. wait for His message. He is never late. He will speak. n speaking at churches felt like "all in a day's work" for me. like doing DGs. when pp asked me how it went, my answer was "ok" n they thought it wasnt good. but it was. i dun get "high" or overly excited or anxious or worried abt it anymore. i felt i did what God wanted me to, n i learnt not to look to the audience for affirmation on dat like i used to. like after DG, i dun get ask "how was it? was it good?" i felt more like, i said wat i felt needed n left it to God, n moved onto my next work thingy. i was kinda surprised i felt this way. well well... all i can say is, i began to understand the move of God better in messages as i have begun to know His ways in the diff DGs.

tmr leading worship. my throat's working up. coughing right now as i type this. it hurts as well as irritates. Lord, help. need my voice tmr. heal me.

had a good time at the beach with lb. learnt not a few things. haha.. biblical application.
take the Gospills. 3 times a day, after meals. or preferably as often as you can, whenever is necessary. if it doesnt help, come back n we'll put you on a course of anti-deceptives. haha.

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