just looking at my blog today just saddens me. i used to do it up nicely. now it's just a default design from blogger. and no tagboards, counters, embedded vids or MP3s... oh from what height it has fallen! sorry to my younger friends. evan's too old to bother now... haha...

m feeling SO very hungry today! ate so much bread n still! n made a wrong choice of drink - coffee. now my gastric's having volcanic activity of some sort.

ok. i have just applied for 2nd year in BSSM. just felt it. so just did it. i had wanted to apply after my mission trip. it's weird how sometimes all the inhibitions just fall away and you cant explain it. hmmm... God will You show me what made that change?

i'm in a weird season; a Song of Songs season (where God brings me back to that book everywhere i turn, every book i pick up to read outside school curriculum), and in spite of this, i still find that everything else is still hazy, still needing clarity. there's so many pressing questions unanswered in the midst of prophecies given by so many different individuals about how my path is set, die has been cast, the Lord is guiding my steps. and so often i fall into the temptation of doubting and asking, "where is my path?" "where on earth am i supposed to turn?" sigh... it's times like these i m reminded that i havent gotten it altogether yet and having to tell myself "chill, evan". shant be too hard on myself. shant throw tantrums like a spoilt brat not actually knowing what she really wants. shant lose my peace and rest by demanding pre-mature answers.

"if you use your circumstance as an excuse for not thriving, you are living a lesser gospel." - Crystal S.