sorry havent been blogging as much as i should. been really busy n stressed. n so very tired. been sick. n my vocal cords are in bad shape, according to an expert who ordered me not to sing for next 2 weeks n not talk as much or fast as usual. havent been checking my personal email or on msn in a while. sorry... (esp to ning... who was wondering y i didnt reply...)

yes... my birthday's juz passed. so how was it? to be truthful, it's the worst birthday i had in decades! haha... even b4 d day, things were bad (see previous paragraph) n i felt like this spoilt brat asking n demanding fr my family wat they would be giving me for my birthday. think i m regressing. instead of becoming a graceful n understanding adult, i behaved worse than when i was a child!

in the morning, had this really terrible brush at the shop while trying to buy my Canon H5IS. had woken up early to go down to shop so dat i could ve the whole aft to spend with God, journal and then work. it was an interesting feeling being a minority in Little India. the shop was totally crowded by pp trying to get stuff b4 deepavali. the shop keepers didnt bother with me until like 20 min later n even so, they took forever... n i mean FOREVER to fulfil my purchase. while i saw tens (i'm not kidding) of customers paid up for mere $100+ worth of merchandise, me, a big spending customer was ignored. i was close to tears at least 3 times in the 1hr 30min i was in that shop! but seriously, i preferred to buy from these pp then the chinese retailers in Sim Lim. pretty dishonest. by the time i finally walked out of the shop, i had managed to get them slash their price by more than $200! Indians are more straightforward. name their price, u wan u get, dun wan suat. dun wan to serve u oso can c. no fake smiles, over-inflated price-tags or effervescent courtesy dat dissipates once u put ur foot down on not buying. haha. disclaimer: i'm chinese. juz a matter of opinion not a matter of fact. n to those who warned me, well, i feel as much at home in little india as i m in chinatown.

tried to work on dat day. felt v stressed out n tired throughout the day. actually took a nap in coffee club where i sat for the whole afternoon n then forced myself to wake up sufficiently to work. didnt work out.

night- had a way big, totally out of proportion blow-out wif sis after celebration with family. due to a long-time build-up of frustration. sigh. tried to continue to work. but took way long to complete a simple task. brain couldnt work properly. heart out of whack too. sigh.

well, the day wasnt a total wash-out. tho it was terrible, i oddly didnt feel upset or anything juz cos "it was supposed to be my day n it was terrible". maybe cos i'm way too old. this birthday didnt feel all that special to begin with. like all the magic that birthdays used to hold for me juz faded away. i wouldnt have noticed it if not for the relentless smses n calls n pp saying "hapy birthday!" maybe cos i ve been feeling so bogged down with work n min n so terribly tired dat all i looked forward to was to rest. n i didnt get much of it the day before my birthday, or even the day or night of my birthday either. maybe i had a "hard heart" n didnt feel the proper emotions as i should be it joy or disappointment or remorse. juz felt a huge failure n sinner in many ways.

well the one salvaging part of the "terrible" day was dinner. managed to settle some emotionally draining dispute b4 going for dinner. i desperately needed to cos i was on the verge of cancelling dinner too. well, dinner was terrific. v aesthetic. gastronomically fantastic. service was the best ever. and of course the bill was a big fat one! thanks for the treat darling! shall upload pics next time... feeling lazy now.

thanks for the many well wishes n presents. juz you remembering means alot to me. some of the verses you guys quoted made me think.eg. on the desires of my heart. got me thinking what the desires of my heart are. a huge amen to the blessings said, prayers uttered. thank you!