the harvest rally was great! i was SO SO encouraged to see so many med, dent n nursing students praying so fervently in unity in repentance, for revival! praise GOD!! may He continue to sustain this passion for intercession and outreach in these faculties.
cos only He can...

phew... i found my ring! it's in my big duffel! must have slipped off my finger into the bag while i was pulling something out. wat a relief.

anyway tmr is the much anticipated HARVEST RALLY!!! so many hours, sweat, tears, prayers, energy... finally. and... it marks the end of the 1st round of fasting!

haha... frankly i m so looking forward to it cos this week-long fast has been more trying than i have expected. and for that i give thanks. funny? haha... well, i have been so used to fasting, even 40days that i didnt think this week-long fast leading up to harvest rally would be any trouble. BUT!!!! i did! i felt so weak and hungry... and food was almost constantly on my mind! i needed His strength to even honour and pull thru this fast. realised then that i had very much relied on my own strength even coming into the fast and m so mighty glad that God kept me from self-reliance! woke up today feeling really weak. the last time i felt so frail was when i was down with lung infection which was quite serious!

argh! i LOST my PRECIOUS!!!!!
it s been with me since 19 Sept 2001! sigh... so sad!

many exciting things are happening in the min. God has promised revival... we are near, so very near. if you are interested in hearing more and being a prayer warrior together with us, pls sms me or leave me a comment... i ll give u more details... now m juz too busy to write more

whoa... stomach flu! sianz... been "pissing" thru my arse! gastric pain, vomit n diarrhoea like crazy n stomach keeps "scrunching" up n hurting real bad. doc gave me 2 dayz MC... so yeah.. covers fri n sat (today).
praying dat i'll be well enuf to go for worship pract for tmr... a bit last min to ask someone to cover for me...

had to miss p comm meeting this morn so decided to call n b put on speaker to hear in. was fun... but also tiring cos had to listen carefully... got alot of noise n cometimes cant hear properly. thankful to God for this bunch of pp... let's Shi Mu Yi Dai God to work over and above wat we can ever ask or imagine.

miss jac's wedding! so sad.

okay... now will try to eat... hmmm

random stuff:

wow... apple came up wif "revolutionary mobile phone!" looks really cool... well well... the future is now (lol. dun get it? nvm. leave it)

was glad i freed last night to come home to eat dinner by myself, not go attend funeral (sorry, i dunno the family at all. so not dat i'm heartless!), not hang out wif frenz... after dinner, tot i had time to chill in front of TV. so caught THE ARENA - the debating show wif a twist. new and interesting rules, immediate n more feedback from judges etc. 1st episode (last night) was so cool! Loyang Sec vs Raffles Institution! haha... my heart immediately wanted Loyang to win. the event soon turned into a guys versus girls, underdog vs sure-winners. i always liked rooting for the underdog, no matter how great the odds.

it proved 2 b really entertaining. i was overcome by nostalgia wen the 1st speakers took to the arena. man... i miss debating somehow... even tho i didnt like how it made me more argumentative n competitive (turning almost every conversation i have into an argument), sharpened my nitpicking, flawed reasoning/thinking skills, debating gives me adrenaline rush. i remembered how i use to start out, state our stand, outline my teams arguments...

anyway, loyang won! i screamed n cheered. shocked my mum... until i told her why n even ran to the closed bathroom door to tell my sis the results. we were all amazed. the underdog wins the day! alrighty! i feel sorry for RI guys... i'm sure they'll face such burning humiliation (even if not fr their sch mates, their male egos wont let them off the hook). well, we all gotta learn how to deal wif such sometime. so yeah. all the best... n i got a feeling they'll come back on a wildcard anyway(yes, another nice twist to the debating competition.)

the most heart-stopping declaration of love 060107 0100:

What do I mean when I say I love you?

I mean...

You're really special... as in, really, really special... both in God's eyes (like you should know very well) and in mine. You're special because of how you don't let the world and growing up stifle your pure heart... how you still burn so brightly despite the stormy winds and rains... how intense your passion is, whether for God, for the people around you (like how you'd travel down to people's homes just to disciple maids), for your work (how you choose not to see students as work per se, because you actually let them in close to you), even for me. You're special because you have that intensity that persists... You're special, most importantly, because of your heart... how you're so gentle-hearted, yet strong... how you're so broken before God and even man, and yet that just makes you stronger than so many, because it just takes tremendous courage to trust, to love, to cry... to not be afraid to appear weak. You're special because you've seen so much darkness, and yet you've not succumbed to despair, but keep the flame of idealism burning... faith, hope and love... faith in God, hope for the future and love for people. You asked once whether I still think you're "that good" after knowing you better and knowing your weaknesses, and I don't know what I said then, but what I'll say now is this: When I got to know you better, instead of seeing how weak you are, you showed me just how strong you actually are. If anything, I respect and admire you more now than ever before. I thought I respected you then, but now I think I really didn't give you the respect you deserved and didn't truly know how much you deserved my respect, admiration and love.

You're really special to ME, because there's no one else I've ever known who's run with me the way you have... believed in and with me... caught that same vision and passion of Christ... who's committed to God and to loving Him more the way I've always wanted to, but never found an example to set my eyes on. No friend has ever loved me so intensely before... you're as close as anyone could get to being my perfect friend. You're precious, really really precious, and you'll forever take up a big and special place in my heart that I'll always reserve as a place you can come home to.

I would do anything to bless you and make you happy. I would be happy even if God appointed you to love another desperately, if that would make you happy. I want to bless those you wanna bless... and love those you wanna love and DO love. And it's a privilege to bless you because of the many that you've loved and blessed with so much of who you are. I love expressing my love for you and letting you know how I love you, how you've blessed me... how much you mean to me.

I would always LOVE and enjoy spending time with you, being with you in person, talking over the phone with you... looking at pictures of you when you're not around... praying with you, crying with you... or even just thinking of you. I love listening to you... and I love talking to you... and I love doing things silly or necessary with you. I love it whether you hug me or I hug you... fiddling with your hair or your fingers. I love any moment with you... because I love you so much that THAT love is an overflow of it.

I love your hair... your eyes... your hands and arms... both how they look and feel. I love your feet and legs... I love the way you dress... and I love your face and the way you look. I love the way your canines stick out when you grin, because I love your grin. I love the way your eyes narrow for myriad reasons... in thought, in joy, in love... how the parts below your eyelids are so sensitive. I would rather you didn't have to cry out of anger or sadness, but I even love the way you cry... I love the way your eyebrows kinda scrunch up as you raise them... how they seem to have a life of their own.

I have made the decision to love you truly, madly, deeply, and that's that. I will always love you and choose to love you this much and learn to love you more, and I'll always choose to love to love you.

I mean I simply love you.

The Touch of a Master's Hand

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Tought it scarely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But he held it up with a smile.
"What am i bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who will start bidding for me?
A dollar, a dollar" - then "two!" "only two?
Two dollars, and who'lll make three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three - " but no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haried man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the lose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As sweet as a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, "What am i bidden for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
and going, and gone!" said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
""we do not quite understand
What changed its worth?" Swift came the reply:
"The touch of the master's hand."

And namt a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scattered with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine;
A game - and he travels on.
He's "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost gone."
but the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
never can quite understand
The worth of a soul, and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the Master's hand.

- Myra Brooks Welch

Questions...
n God-lessons fr things wif Liebe...
- what do you mean when u say u ll bend backwards for me?
showed me that i even tho i meant it when i say things like that as well as things like "to live is Christ, to die is gain" or "i'll even die for You". that really i cant b glib... cos i really dunno wat that entails... n dat i really cant bent backwards even if i tried. but while i've said it with as much heart n soul as i have, God will grow me and take me step by step to even be able to fulfil my declaration of love and commitment to Him... hence it is not dat i can do it for Him, bu it is He who enables me to do that for Him.

- what do you want?
showed me about God's will, and why He wants us to ask:
God wants us to ask not just because He already knows and wants us to know what we want, but that He delights in giving us what we want. so instead of saying a prayer like "God, give me what is in Your will"... we find Him saying things like "you do not have because you have not asked, asked and it shall be given to you." we need to know that He wants to give us what we want as a demonstration of His love. because He already knows what we want b4 we ask, He is already poised to give us when we ask of Him. and instead of saying, "God i want what You want", it is greater joy to Him if we ask specifically the things that He wants, cos that shows we know what He wants and that we want what He wants.

wow so fast it's 2007!! sorry had been busy! For the 1st time in years… I was actually looking forward to this new year! haha...

praise God for His faithfulness in seeing us through 2006. came back from a wonderful student conference - Metamorphosis 2006 (26-30th dec). spent the last moments of 2006 and the 1st few of 2007 in church counting down. Rev Soh gave a very good message on Heb 12 and also turning our attention to Ecc 3. it was on covenants, since it was covenant service. there are 6 covenants... all of those in the OT point to Christ. and pastor brought out that the best dat we can ever do is to know the calling that God has for us and to live it - that's the best life. (and i realised... i've got it... my best life... now it is for me to stay on track, to run this race with perseverance and faithfulness, not swerving to the right nor left... but with passion, singleness of purpose, purity and power from on high)

was out sharing Christ in Bishan as part of Meta… we went around asking people for what they are thankful for in 2006. I was so shocked that most people say they got nothing. Was such a contrast at 1130pm 31st dec in church when so many people went up to give thanks for things great and small… I felt so uplifted hearing all these wonderful thanksgivings, after a wonderful message… and of course… was tingling with excitement (yesh despite my ripe old age of 27 I was still excited at the countdown!) and wen yeep did the countdown, I recalled D n I leading the congregation to countdown (now.. which year was that?) years back at Covenant service too! I felt so joyful and so contented. Thanksgiving overflowed from within. I love this church! Haha…

and after the countdown, instead of saying “Happy New year!” Yeep told us to say “Praise God!” which I tot was so so much more meaningful. Anyway was so glad I was there counting down in church than anywhere else. Frie asked me to go somewhere else 4 countdown but I m so glad I was resolved to go church for covenant service. after the Lord's supper, we were given paper n envelope to write our new year resolution to God… I had so much to write! Man…

Wanted to go for the prayer session from 8pm b4 the service… but was shopping wif sis till late so missed it… was so tiring shopping la… but was glad 2 have spent it wif her.

sent off D as well... cos she going to her fiance's church from now on... after service... she came over n tok... could see her "yi yi bu se"... dunno if it was my defence mechanism or wat... i din feel much... she hugged and kissed me... once on the cheek n another time on the hand when she held onto it not wanting to let go even when she walked out of the door... haiz... juz kinda sad wen i tink of gwen's sharing anf giving thanks to God for yeep n how they grew tog n even now growing their families in church tog... i felt a pang within wishing that my friends n i were in the same church instead of them all leaving... we ll have to grow "up" in diff churches... haiz..

Here’s the personal prayer covenant

i am no longer my own but Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will, put me to doing, put me to suffering; let me be employed for You or laid aside for You; exalted for You or brought low for You; let me be full, let me be empty; let me have all things, let me have nothing. i freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. and now, Holy Spirit, You are mine and i am Yours. Amen.