the most heart-stopping declaration of love 060107 0100:

What do I mean when I say I love you?

I mean...

You're really special... as in, really, really special... both in God's eyes (like you should know very well) and in mine. You're special because of how you don't let the world and growing up stifle your pure heart... how you still burn so brightly despite the stormy winds and rains... how intense your passion is, whether for God, for the people around you (like how you'd travel down to people's homes just to disciple maids), for your work (how you choose not to see students as work per se, because you actually let them in close to you), even for me. You're special because you have that intensity that persists... You're special, most importantly, because of your heart... how you're so gentle-hearted, yet strong... how you're so broken before God and even man, and yet that just makes you stronger than so many, because it just takes tremendous courage to trust, to love, to cry... to not be afraid to appear weak. You're special because you've seen so much darkness, and yet you've not succumbed to despair, but keep the flame of idealism burning... faith, hope and love... faith in God, hope for the future and love for people. You asked once whether I still think you're "that good" after knowing you better and knowing your weaknesses, and I don't know what I said then, but what I'll say now is this: When I got to know you better, instead of seeing how weak you are, you showed me just how strong you actually are. If anything, I respect and admire you more now than ever before. I thought I respected you then, but now I think I really didn't give you the respect you deserved and didn't truly know how much you deserved my respect, admiration and love.

You're really special to ME, because there's no one else I've ever known who's run with me the way you have... believed in and with me... caught that same vision and passion of Christ... who's committed to God and to loving Him more the way I've always wanted to, but never found an example to set my eyes on. No friend has ever loved me so intensely before... you're as close as anyone could get to being my perfect friend. You're precious, really really precious, and you'll forever take up a big and special place in my heart that I'll always reserve as a place you can come home to.

I would do anything to bless you and make you happy. I would be happy even if God appointed you to love another desperately, if that would make you happy. I want to bless those you wanna bless... and love those you wanna love and DO love. And it's a privilege to bless you because of the many that you've loved and blessed with so much of who you are. I love expressing my love for you and letting you know how I love you, how you've blessed me... how much you mean to me.

I would always LOVE and enjoy spending time with you, being with you in person, talking over the phone with you... looking at pictures of you when you're not around... praying with you, crying with you... or even just thinking of you. I love listening to you... and I love talking to you... and I love doing things silly or necessary with you. I love it whether you hug me or I hug you... fiddling with your hair or your fingers. I love any moment with you... because I love you so much that THAT love is an overflow of it.

I love your hair... your eyes... your hands and arms... both how they look and feel. I love your feet and legs... I love the way you dress... and I love your face and the way you look. I love the way your canines stick out when you grin, because I love your grin. I love the way your eyes narrow for myriad reasons... in thought, in joy, in love... how the parts below your eyelids are so sensitive. I would rather you didn't have to cry out of anger or sadness, but I even love the way you cry... I love the way your eyebrows kinda scrunch up as you raise them... how they seem to have a life of their own.

I have made the decision to love you truly, madly, deeply, and that's that. I will always love you and choose to love you this much and learn to love you more, and I'll always choose to love to love you.

I mean I simply love you.