my Heavenly Father spoke to me through my earthly father

22 Aug:
we had our Survivor Talk (How to survive year one) for the M1s. we got seniors who did very well to share tips on the year one subjects like anat, physio, and biochem. I prayed hard that God will use this to establish a bridge between us and the year ones so that we could have more targeted evangelistic programmes in time to come. My dad’s sms on 11.54am that day read: Isaiah 45:22 Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God & there is no one else.
I felt it was God’s reassurance of His presence and His unction on this events and also on the outreach work we will be doing in this year.

26 Aug:
I was very tired. Have 2 back to back Discipleship groups and speaking at LM. Slept 2 hours due to various fire fighting situations. Was very unsettled, fretful and even angry that morning. Was trying to calm myself and get ready for the day and praying so terribly hard and desperately from 730-930. was telling God He had to show up in the ministry. at 949am, dad sms-ed me: “Ps 12v5/6 But now I will come.’ Says the Lord. Because the needy are oppressed and the persecuted groan in pain. I will give them the security they long for.
I checked my Bible which was the NIV. It didn’t read like this. In fact, if the verse was given in NIV, it wouldn’t have spoken to me in my situation. The funny thing was that this version (whichever it is from) starts with “but now I will come” and when I read it, it almost seemed audible to me as if God was speaking as He arose. I was in awe and at rest. Indeed He came and supernaturally sustained me. I know I couldn’t have survived the day on my own strength. He held me throughout the day. It was really amazing.

30 Aug:
the storm has blown in.
I had not been so anxious in a long while. I was so edgy and my hands were cold (usu I m more on the warm side. Pp use my hands to ‘warm them’.) and the whole afternoon was a “wash-down the drain”. I just don’t seem to be able to find the peace and assurance that I so needed from God. Dad sms at 4.42pm when I was on my way to NUH for DG: Ps 91v14 God says, “I will save those who love me and will protect those who acknowledge me as Lord.” This is not a word just for me but also for the others involved in this situation.
I really dunno how to pick up the pieces. Nevermind I was misrepresented at certain points, nevermind that my actions probably are misconstrued, nevermind that perhaps I have lost the friendship that I have been putting so much effort building up. I have to trust that God who has led me, and even the min to this point knows what He is doing and is bringing about a good for all that we now cannot see.
The tension and strain will be there. But I will trust the Lord of reconciliation to work things out. I desire to see growth and that the persons to succeed. How I wish this “cup” can pass from me. but this is my lot for the moment. Not an enviable position but a faith stretching one. And somehow I m led to give thanks nevertheless. I will trust. What an interesting blend of fear and faith, of love and anger, of anxiety and rest.

It’s surprising that God chose to speak through my most unlikely person. My dad is someone who has chosen to repeatedly turn his back to God. And he is Chinese educated. His English is BAD. The verses, I believe have been sms-ed to him by another bro-in-Christ who is trying to reach out to him at the moment. But God chose to use him. Why? Perhaps to remind me that He has not given up on him. But definitely to show that He speaks and is able to use ANY.

Pls pray with me for my dad that those words of life will not just pass through his hands as sms-es received and forwarded. But that the scales in his eyes will drop and he will see the truth and repent. Pray with me that he will see that he is walking towards destruction and will turn back to the God who has been calling out to him. Pray that the prodigal will return. Pray that just as my Heavenly Father is speaking to me through my earthly father, one day my earthly father will speak of my Heavenly Father. I typed this in tears. I claim that we who go out sowing in tears will indeed reap in joy. Thank you for praying with me.

Jesus a great teacher? think again

In his famous book Mere Christianity, Lewis makes this statement, "A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg - or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us."

heartache hard egg

havent been writing though there's so much to put down onto "paper"... during this week i wanted so much to sit down to blog but juz could afford the time...!


this week has been a real challenging week.... learnt a lot... gone thru alot.... slept v little..ate v little...


hope i'll lose weight...! haha... really m too heavy. (aiyah cant go for the Army Half Marathon on 11 sept. sad.)

i realised i've grown... besides older n more haggard, wiser and more trusting n restful in God. found that He has enlarged my capacity... odd were the ways n means He used tho. =)

was so thankful n joyful to be able to serve God. such a wonderful honour n privilege to do what i m doing!


was praying hard on fri (cos i was so so dead tired n it was a packed day) that God will show up and got an sms fr my dad (haha! of all people!) that reads: (now... where's my hp?!?!) "But now i will come," says the Lord................. "!!!!
and he n HE were right! the Lord showed up! gave me strength n presence of mind so supernaturally! i felt so incredible! thanks to those who prayed...


i c a storm brewing from a distance... coming nearer! sigh... God have mercy!


love being single! such freedom n haha so much more time! more able to serve!
(for those asking abt "somebody"... i think no lah... i HOPE no lah...! so stop lah!)



a friend in NTU said something that i tot was interesting: friendship is one long conversation. (M.A, thanks!)
yah... we juz pick up where we left off
always saw it more like a journey n friend is a so-journer.



Eunice, happy birthday! wanted so much to join u on fri... sorry...!
n louis! happy birthday!

hmmm... how communications have evolved... how even writing journals have changed! i used to have an online diary somewhere in diaryland before the blog thingy caught "fire"... it's kinda secret. no one knows... juz me n whoever stumbles onto my page. now... i have no idea wat my user name was... sad. got some nice poems there... i want to put a poem here... but... the 'mood' isn't right.
"the distance is not of heaven n earth.................."
lost my muse... nothing rhymes now.

heartache hard egg hart etch
miss u mis ewe
crisis cry sis

wanted to change the MTV to daniel beddingfield's song... but they juz took the MTV down.. cant find liao....!


had a number of dreams... of people i have never seen or dreamt off before...
eg. taxi driver who turns out to be my mom's TKGS sch mate, lady in a cafe whose mascara runs... haha...





wonder why some pp can really live for frivolous things... wat do you live for? u might b surprised what some can come up with.



why do we not put God in the first place when we KNOW we should?
why do people like to deceive themselves by saying they are trying to get right with God but are not?
why do we look for God-substitutes?
why m i asking funny stuff when i should be in bed sleeping? hahahaha

really heartache re my frens.... know them for most of my life.... sigh...



by now u should have realised that i m rambling n trying to capture random thoughts n happenings of the week...

should sleep soon.... NOW maybe.
will try to finish the hudson taylor book by today(later today i mean)... wonderful book.. will share with you soon.

now, this is commitment!

excerpt of letter by an American college student explaining to his fiancee why he had to break off their engagement-

We communists have a high casualty rate. We live in virtual poverty, and turn back every penny we make to the Party above what is absolutely necessary to keep us alive. We communists don’t have the time or the money or movies, concerts, or T-bone steaks or decent homes or new cars. I am in dead earnest. Communism is my life, my business, my religion, my sweetheart, my wife, my mistress, my bread and meat. I work at it in the daytime and dream about it at night. Its hold on me grows, not lessens, as time goes by. Therefore, I cannot carry on a friendship, a love affair, or even a conversation without relating to this force which both drives and guides my life. I’ve already been in jail because of my ideas and if necessary I am ready to go before a firing squad.


Man! i look at this communist's great faith and passion and i am ashamed. i have not let the cause of Christ so consume me that all of my life is driven and guided by Him. if only we Christians know but a fraction of what it means to be thss "sold out", if only we allow God's hold on us to grow and make Him our all. to think an aetheist knows better what it means "to live is Christ" (Gal 2:20, Phil 1:21), except that for him to live is communism. it's all or nothing for Christ!

God is the issue - recapturing the cultural initiative

“Welcome to a culture where right and wrong have taken such a beating they’re no longer recognizable. If you think this debasement of our culture can never really affect you, think again. Today’s moral relativism and selfish agendas are moving through the body of society like a cancer, putting all of us at risk.”
~Tammy Bruce, The Death of Right and Wrong, p11

“What we do know is that the choices we make today will have consequences – for better or worse.

Will we rise to the challenge or will we bury our heads in the sands of indifference, prosperity, and busyness until it is too late? If we chose not to make God the issue now, our grandchildren may never even get the opportunity to do so.

God is the issue. God is the watershed. He is the only one who can push back the raging tide of moral relativism and secularism. If we fail to make God the issue, we shall most certainly and inevitably fail at all other tasks.”
~ Brad Bright, God is the Issue p148

prayer

Intercessory prayer is the Christian's most effective weapon. Nothing can withstand it's power. It will do things when all else has failed. And the marvel is that we turn to other agencies in order to accomplish what only prayer can bring to pass. God has placed this mighty weapon in our hands, and He expects us to use it. How disappointed He must be when we lay it a side and substitute natural means for supernatural work.
~The Work God Blesses by Dr Oswald J. Smith



Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance, it is laying hold of His highest willingness
-- Archibishop Trench

Charlie n the choco fac

Charlie got the last golden ticket. he told his family he would not be going as he could sell his ticket to help out his family's financial situation - "We need the money!"

one of his grandparents (or is it greatgrandparents?) said this to him, "Don't ever trade it for something as common as money!"

how often do we do that?

you may say, "of course not!"

yet, how often do we neglect that which is invaluable, eternal, irreplaceble in the name of work? what you do trade off? your family? God? your walk with Him? your soul?

the old man wisely advice Charlie, "Don't you ever trade it for something as common as money!"

dunno wat's wrong!!!

man! there's something wrong with my blog! sorry to those who have been accessing n find it the same since 6th August!! i have written some stuff but somehow they juz dun get posted!?!?!?!!

kinda frustrating...! so this is my last attempt before i rewrite my blog AGAIN...!

invitation

the church has many organisers, but few agonizers; many who pay, but few who pray; many resters, but few wrestlers; many who are enterprising, but few who are interceding. People who are not praying are playing.

Two prerequisites of dynamic Christian living are vision and passion. Both of these are generated by prayer. The ministry of praying is open to every child of God…

Tithes may build the church, but tears will give it life. That is the difference between the modern church and the early church. Our emphasis is on paying, theirs was on praying. When we have paid, the place is taken. When they had prayed, the place was shaken (Acts 4:31)

In the matter of effective praying, never have so many left so much to so few. Brethren, let us pray.

~Leonard Ravenhill, “No wonder God wonders,” Great Commission Prayer League

r u listening?

i have a hearing problem.

i don't listen. someone reminded me of that last night. it was not the first time.

listening is my job. i even teach attentive hebaviour, active listening! other than work, i shut my ears. and my mutli-tasking nature aggrevates the situation.

i need treatment for my problem. i need to correct my listening deficiency or it'll corrode the relationships i hold dear...



Wherever you are, be all there.
Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.
~Jim Elliot

wat is your fish?

in John 21, Peter had gone back to fishing. Perhaps out of boredom, perhaps out of a sense of hopelessness. whatever it is, he is going back to what he used to do. why? cos there's a sense of familiarity; it's something he has some sense of control over, rather than the uncertainty at this point of time in John 21.

the story then goes to tell of yet another night of futile labour. having caught no fish and it's daybreak.

Jesus appeared to them, giving them another miraculous catch of fish- 153 to be exact. and John was careful to let the readers know 2 details in that sentence:
1. not 153 of any fish but LARGE fish,
2. that despite such a large catch the net did not break.

Peter recognises Jesus and swims ashore. there was already breakfast waiting. Jesus did not need that miraculous catch. and after the sumptuous meal, we read about the famous "DO you love me?" conversation. (those who know me know that that is my favourite question!)

Jesus asked Peter "do you truly love me more than these?"

many have debated over what the "these" were.

some say the other disciples. which is rather unlikely cos if Jesus frowned upon His disciples' comparison and strife with one another, He was definitely not about to encourage a "i-love-Jesus-more-than-you" contest.

i m more disposed to thinking the "these" were the 153 large fishes.

u c, all his life, apart from the 3 years he was following Jesus, Peter was a fisherman. while most of us cannot stand the stench, Peter lived that stench, worked that sweat for fish. He spent his days and nights looking for fish. and he markets them. He LOVED fish. Fish represented his life, his means of livelihood, his identity, what he is good at. Fish presented him a means to make a living, presented him with a life and friends who made up his world.

the 153 fish now represented all that, and more. 153... what a lot of fish! what alot of money that represents too! he could kick back and feed on that income for months! He could live on that wonderful reputation this catch of 153 large fish would give him! the wonder fisherman!

Yet, Jesus was asking him, "Do you love me more than these?"

is he going to give this up just like he had when Jesus called him to follow Him? will he again leave what he thought life was about, leave the life he has carved out for himself, leave what was so terribly familiar, leave the prosperity this 153 large fish can give him?

sometimes, i feel i loved my fish more and that call from the Lord alot harder to answer. Lord, help me to love You more than "these".

what makes u come alive?

Don't ask what the world needs
rather ask "What makes me come alive?"
cos what the world needs is people who are alive


one worship session at the US conference was led by latin americans n blacks. u noe lah... their worship style is not like what we see in the movies... was kinda hard to follow sometimes cos it's so impromptu... and they follow the worship leader. what caught me was one line which the worship leader sang and we echoed like a zillion times. the truth of it sang deep into my heart. the line was:

"I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive!"

sometimes we Christians live as if we were better of dead. yes we are supposed to live looking forward to heaven, but that doesn't mean we dun enjoy the journey getting there. and the effect of it is that non-Christians look at us n r not impressed by the way we live. we forget that Christ has made us alive. (nonwithstanding answering the question "what does being alive mean?")

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Ephesians 2:4,5

Besides that, God has put within each of us a unique set of personality and characteristics, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. what do you enjoy doing? what is that which make u tick? that answer, my friend, need not be "reading the bible", or "telling others about Him"... no 'pharisee-like' model answers pls! if that's really your genuine answer fine. but answers like "drawing", "singing" are just as spiritual. the guy in the "chariots of fire" (whose name i can't recall now in this jet-laggedness!) said that he feels God smile when he runs. running makes him feel alive.

what makes u feel alive?