wat is your fish?

in John 21, Peter had gone back to fishing. Perhaps out of boredom, perhaps out of a sense of hopelessness. whatever it is, he is going back to what he used to do. why? cos there's a sense of familiarity; it's something he has some sense of control over, rather than the uncertainty at this point of time in John 21.

the story then goes to tell of yet another night of futile labour. having caught no fish and it's daybreak.

Jesus appeared to them, giving them another miraculous catch of fish- 153 to be exact. and John was careful to let the readers know 2 details in that sentence:
1. not 153 of any fish but LARGE fish,
2. that despite such a large catch the net did not break.

Peter recognises Jesus and swims ashore. there was already breakfast waiting. Jesus did not need that miraculous catch. and after the sumptuous meal, we read about the famous "DO you love me?" conversation. (those who know me know that that is my favourite question!)

Jesus asked Peter "do you truly love me more than these?"

many have debated over what the "these" were.

some say the other disciples. which is rather unlikely cos if Jesus frowned upon His disciples' comparison and strife with one another, He was definitely not about to encourage a "i-love-Jesus-more-than-you" contest.

i m more disposed to thinking the "these" were the 153 large fishes.

u c, all his life, apart from the 3 years he was following Jesus, Peter was a fisherman. while most of us cannot stand the stench, Peter lived that stench, worked that sweat for fish. He spent his days and nights looking for fish. and he markets them. He LOVED fish. Fish represented his life, his means of livelihood, his identity, what he is good at. Fish presented him a means to make a living, presented him with a life and friends who made up his world.

the 153 fish now represented all that, and more. 153... what a lot of fish! what alot of money that represents too! he could kick back and feed on that income for months! He could live on that wonderful reputation this catch of 153 large fish would give him! the wonder fisherman!

Yet, Jesus was asking him, "Do you love me more than these?"

is he going to give this up just like he had when Jesus called him to follow Him? will he again leave what he thought life was about, leave the life he has carved out for himself, leave what was so terribly familiar, leave the prosperity this 153 large fish can give him?

sometimes, i feel i loved my fish more and that call from the Lord alot harder to answer. Lord, help me to love You more than "these".