was pretty drained after DG... had intended to end by 330... but... stretched till 5... at first planned some time for me to go sit by water n sort out some stuff b4 meeting Kr 4 dinner... but then cant liao... n suddenly like a ton of bricks, it hit me - how needful that planned space was for me... i felt weak n tired. i felt i cannot give liao. [cant give wat u dun haf] i felt i needed breathing space... i needed time for myself... i didnt want to tok anymore... i sms-ed to ask for a rain cheque despite feeling real bad abt it.

m glad i did it... was good. realised i miss God. i miss thinking God-thoughts, miss thinking of Him, juz Him, not for His will, not for His leading, not so that i can teach, tell, lead, guide someone else... juz for Him. i ve been so busy dat i havent spend time JUZ. [just let me say...]

was pondering over how Jesus could do it... give n give... n yet handle the heartbreaking knowledge dat they dun have faith... that their hearts r so far from God... i would have broken down seeing that rich young ruler walk away with his head down... did Jesus' heart sink as He saw him go? did He inwardly cry a million tears while saying, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mk 10:25) yet perhaps He knew what i still dun... "with man it is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." (v27)

mystified by "Love"... God is Love. it's amazing. how God is the source, the giver. how we are created for love, to love. how we love cos He first loved us. (1 Jn 4:19)

i really do think my sis has a great figure... n she's chio too! *whistle (she's gleefully fishing in my wardrobe for clothes for tmr's wedding n FYP presentation... so it's kinda like a fashion show for me!) n i juz got sudden inspiration to dress her in really really hot stuff!LOL i'm glad her examz r over n she s in like the greatest cool mood in a long while... maybe oso cos i had a good time-out earlier... my mood's ok too... juz realised too dat i ve been the "main sponsor" of her clothes n shoes for most of her events! from head to toe! wow... m glad she's gonna wear d over-priced delicate tube/halter i fell in love with n committed to... only to b rudely awoken to the fact dat we r mismatched... i m too fat for it... really happy my sis fit so nicely!
"that's wat sisters r for... to help tie knots!"