i m more reclusive than u think i m. in fact, i'm more reclusive than i think i am! (dat s y i like those tests write-ups by the side bar. kinda accurate!) i used 2 think i suffer fr a "terminal" case of verbal diarrhoea... but i juz realised that now when i'm sad, angry, frustrated, more goes inside than out... n i need time (long time!) 2 process. i wish i could juz 'vomit it n get it outta my syst! BUT i cant juz blab like i used to... now i cant tell ya wat's wrong over msn or sms juz like dat... but thanks for asking anyway! appreciate d concern. i need 'down time' and prefer 'face time'. so...

so yeah... i shall end my blog silence... those who ve been faithfully looking out 4 new posts... sorry 2 disappoint! but here's some assurance, i'm back!

ya noe, i went 4 massage... n d masseusse (or therapist, as they r called nowadays) told me dat i m v v heaty! n if i dun get rid of d heat, my heart will burn! guess dats y it's been 'heartburn' time for me d past few weeks!

n wat s more disturbing was re my mother's day present... i m painting a pic (hope it'll be done by then!). my teacher n the gallery owner r art therapists... (how 'conincidental!') n they both saw my painting... their pupils dilated... in alarm. n they took long hard looks at it. i could c their brains churning pages n pages of psychoanalysis. haiz... i oso noe... c'mon, we study d same fraud... opps i mean freud! haha!

my teacher only said, "u look so calm on the outside... but there's alot of unsettledness..." the gallery owner, who crooned "oh... it's gonna b beautiful! i can't wait 4 it 2 b finished!" 2 weeks back, was deep in thought... n wen pressed by me 4 answers, she gave professional uncommitant yadda yadda(which is actually right of her). n said, " i noe this is not finished n i'm sure u'll add details... it's surprising dat the sky is so calm... yet the sea is so rough..."

now i get a taste of my own med!! all those times of psychoanalyzing pp, unnerving n giving them e feeling dat i noe something abt them dat they dunno... well well... how d tables r turned! now i m d 1 getting unnerved!

n my darling teacher who is my faithful prayer warrior sms-ed me later dat night saying she was reading the bible n came across this:

but when u ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven n tossed by the wind. - James 1:6

hmm... wonderful huh... so i've been spending sat n sun meditating n reflecting on chap 1... it's so right, so right!