back blog: thurs 12/10 super long entry - blown away!

0630- resolved 2 not be grumpy in the morning as i got outta house... jammed up my ears with my earphones n walked to the bus stop. a cyclist came up fr behind me... rang his bell, i kept left, saw fr the corner of my eye he took to d left too... i moved right the same time he moved right.. so there we did a little jiggy dance.. i finally hopped to the far right side and apologised profusely... which he chose to accept none of... n in turn berated me with vulgarities. so much for a wonderful start to a wonderful day. sigh...

on the mrt, my water bottle cap came off and spilled it's contents on me while i was totally engrossed in reading. my jeans, journal (nice purplish CLOTH cover) and bible were soaked! sigh...

i always have to get on buses driven by nice bus drivers who would stop at every stop despite the front of the bus being packed to the max; who would then let desperate passengers-wannabes attempt squeezing up; who would shout for pp to move to the rear; whose shouts fall on the deaf ears of "intelligent" pp n hence resulting in the bus taking WAY long 2 get 2 NUS!!! sigh...

felt led to pray something... but didn't... felt not too good abt that; as if i had abjugated some responsibilty. sigh...

0930- at EAST. late again... i cant really pull off going to NUS n get 2 my training on time. today's session was as if the Holy Spirit has prepared me for it... dat everything juz spoke to me... i was crying so hard dat i had to move to the rear of the class n sit there to wipe n face, blow my nose properly. sat there the rest of the day cos juz couldnt 'turn off my tap'. sigh...

1230- had lunch wif ning n XL at suntec Marche. final farewell lunch. was good catching up. think ning juz really couldn't believe i'd miss her much after she's gone. walking back to EAST, i wondered how i'd feel cos in the next few dayz, 2 of my closest frenz will leave s'pore. it hasnt really hit me yet. sigh...

1530- din think i'd volunteer to be case study... juz DIDNT cross my mind to do so.... until everyone was sitting there waiting for something to happen... n i juz cant bring myself to wait for something to happen. so i hopped up. sigh...

ann B. came up, put her arm around me, rubbed me and told me she was hoping i'd come up. she said that she was praying i would, n that she knew i would! n she said that she liked me... gave me a hug and squeeze. ah...

went in... felt scared! haha... makes me feel so vulnerable to be 'case study' n to be prayed over with 8 other strangers watching me cry, pour out my hurts and pains, and taking copious notes on how the trainer handled the 'case'. yeah... healing prayer training... feels so much like my NUS social work comm lab but much much worse.. cos this is NOT a made-up situation; u dun come up with a bogus problem... u kinda let the Holy Spirit lead how the session would be like n often it goes REALLY deep. anyway... i started crying again right after Steve C prayed to ask the Holy SPirit to lead. sigh...

tunred out I was SUPPOSED 2 b prayed 4 today... juz like Ann sensed n prayed. the Holy Spirit let no one else step up cos that place's mine. I needed the "heart-surgery" . so predestined. ah...

i used half a box of tissue... some of the pp were crying too... haha... kinda funny - them being there... was kinda distracting, yet uplifting. once in the middle of the session, i peeped at them and saw such empathy and felt buoyant by their prayers and silent cheering. Steve affirmed me much and much was resolved in that session. i felt God so gracious n wonderful to have made me go thru this. at the end of the session Steve commented that there's something in my spirit that endeared pp to me, that i have such a wonderful heart, such a gentle and sweet spirit. i saw many unanimous nods.if i werent so "cried out" then, i would have burst out laughing. think at least 5 pp came up (somewhere along i lost count!) to give me long BIG hugs n said alot of stuff. ah...

walked back to the chapel room n met Laurel. she remembered my name! n she even remembered when she taught me! (which was 5 years ago!!!) i expressed my surprise. and she explained, "how could i forget you? you are my fav student! you are sucha character!" i went, "good or bad?" "good of course!" "aww, shucks! that means i m no fun at all!" lol. and of course a hug came right after. man... i m so blown away... (juz when these dayz i kept saying, n feeling disappointed at how lousy a student i m - cos i lose interst v easily n 'dun seem to pay attention') n have u got any idea how dua pai n sought after she is internationally? n so is Ann! (Ann used 2 b a prof in Dallas!) then chatted wif Karen B... n she told me how much she liked me n, of course, d wonderful heart, sweet n gentle spirit thingy came up too (i was beginning 2 wonder if they were reading off fr the same script!) her actual words dat blew me away: evangeline, i adore you!" (eyes looking deep into mine, hand firmly holding my arm) AH...

i was like- what is going on? they didnt speak privately. but out loud 4 all 2 hear! Suddenly these pp(godly, Spirit-filled, well-proven in ministry worldwide) with different nationalities, from diff times in my life converging in EAST n giving me all these affirmation! like God arranged a "super-soaker" time 2 soak me in His overwhelming, extravagant love. n He used these pp i respect ALOT 2 speak 2 me in my 'love languages', not juz remind, but hammer into me HOW precious I AM to GOD! AHHH...! i could feel their love 4 me, n see it in their eyes this clearly n i felt God saying I love you way more than wat u can see in these! AAHHH...!

1830- went to NAFA 2 view the artwork in the galleries n print my fav digital art piece. so beautiful! felt so fulfilled, so satisfied! ate vietnamese food 4 dinner. so X! - i could have gotten it for 50cents in vietnam but paid $4 here!- but authentic! tot lam! ah...

2030- reach home... was so terribly tired. juz like many pp told me i would after the prayer session. i had wanted to type out all the deep stuff n even blog abt the above... but... wisely chose to go to bed. slept till 0530 next morn. ahh...