4 years ago when i was still in NUS, when i was struggling with coming on full time, my DGL who really didn't know the exact details of my tassle wif God, said, "Evan, God's will is good, pleasing and perfect." i got mad... haha... first time i got mad wif her, dat precious lady!

and really... after coming on staff n all... it really is... finding out n experiencing God's will in my life, i attest dat it is indeed good, pleasing n perfect. God's word - in Romans 12:2 proves true.

not dat it's all smooth sailing... quite the contrary in fact. but there's this queer (haha...!) sense of purpose n peace n sense dat this is where i m meant 2 b.

[i recounted dis like in so many times in so many places b4.. but really need to get it down here now AGAIN!]

now... new input:
it's amazing... staying where God wants me to b... not dat i love every sec n enjoy riding the wave all the time... but looking n questioning why i m still hanging on n doing wat i m doing is amazing enuf...!

u c... i m amazed at how i haf not thrown in the towel, n walked away... i could have, i would've. it's not as if i have gr8 staying power... not dat i die die love the job... n nope, i'm not d kinda dat stays put cos of fear of change or unknown. somehow... there's a force sustaining me... a purpose dat drives me, a glue dat sticks me to it no matter wat. something props me up n keeps me standing even tho i really can swear i would've stumbled, crumbled, crashed n burned. n ya noe... this really isn't fr me. i wake up n m amazed, i stay up at night n wonder... n i c... i c Him working in me... making His likeness in me... n it amazes me.

[i think the best thing about this is i get the front seat... the best seat in the house in this production He is staging in my life. i get firsthand experience of working with God. not so much to change others or grow ministries... or do those gr8 things pp expect or sometimes i even expect me to b doing... nope... i get the firsthand experience of knowing how it feels like and to witness wat happens when one's life is surrendered to Him... ya know like how it is to get the best view watching a concert or a magic show or something really cool? (haha... i sound like a kid!!) yep... ]

n so... re here... my job is not done... i'll go when it is. but since it is not yet done, i stay. no matter if circumstance n pp n logic n bank acc n wat-nots say otherwise. cos really, if God din say "GO", then He will provide the means, the strength... everything i need to do wat He has set for me to do. then alot of stuff is His pa kay not mine... He deals wif the impossible, not me... He specializes in miracles not me... no sir i cant! so i'll leave Him to do His job, n i do mine.