lament over my ignorance

refer to my 19 nov entry where i asked wat's anal...

from dictionary.com:
a·nal (nl)adj.
Of, relating to, or near the anus.
Of or relating to the second stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory from ages 2-3, during which gratification is derived from sensations associated with the anus.
Relating to or being personality traits(as parsimony, meticulousness, and ill humor) that originated during toilet training and are distinguished as anal-expulsive or anal-retentive.

man... this i studied in my very first module in NUS - "1101: human development over the lifespan"... 7 years ago! n i can actually not know how to define "anal"! sigh... makes me reflect and lament over the following:
- given back all my freud, jung, piaget, erikson n alot lot of them back to my profs! (some docs n med students marvel at my ease in conversing with med profs... well, dat's juz b'cos they r not my profs! u should c how i tiptoe or siam my profs!)
- i took vietnamese... lost most of my vocab n sentence structure! recently went to holland V... cant really make out wat "Cho Lon" mean. big place, big market? wat a huge shock!
- cant speak malay any more too! can barely make out conversations in bahasa Malayu let alone Bahasa Indonesia! need to berdoa for good memory!!!
- cant even explain "semiotics"!! sorry Loonie! u were a gr8 teacher... juz cannot remember theatre... i mean really... i cant even throw out any names (like who came up with "de-construction", "environmental", "deadly" theatre, "poor theatre" - some G----ski guy, "no" theatre) aiyah...!
- not really competent in my SW n counselling skills! looking thru e CPE stuff... i headache... there are modules offered to BSWs (Beginning Social workers)... i m less than on par with them...! they have a fresher idea of theories n policies... need to re-read my TBs n notes... forgot alot of my theories and case recording n etc etc...?? recently caught a glimpse of med students' Family Med notes... really cannot draw a genogram liao!! n that's supposed 2 b THE basics of basics! man!
- if i were to write a "paper" on something (which SWers like to do all the time...) i really dunno how to...!!

it's scary how my whole education comes down really to almost nothing... except 2 perfect my smoking skills! sigh...

hence this lament over my ignorance. there's so much i dunno... but i dun even noe the things i should noe?!?! man... makes me really wonder... wat do i really noe? haha...

n yes... another night has gone by without sleep...